Wicked Wednesday 230 – Slutfest (Musings on a word)

I think that for many women being called a slut can be incredibly damaging and derogatory. In fact, it has been for me before. I spent years dealing with what felt like shame and stigma over my desires because a person I loved called me a slut for having them. It colored my outlook on sex and my own sex life is a negative light.

I’ve had my share of casual sex, I’ve been in committed relationships, I’ve even (once) had a threesome, but I never considered myself to be a slut in terms of someone who had an excess of partners or loose morals that many people seem to feel applies to a slut. But oddly, the shame was still there. maybe because the word was coming from someone who claimed that they loved me, yet could say such hurtful things.

Secretly, though, I had this desire to be called a slut during sex and often masturbated to that idea, getting off from it, from the thought of having this negative term thrown at me during sex. Up until the last few years, however, it had never occurred as my reality. Until one day it did. And I orgasmed just as hard then as I had years prior when it was just a fantasy in my head. That’s when I started learning to disassociate the word slut with sex and how I was having it, doing it, enjoying it.

Now it has become a joke between my partner and I and we both laugh and all is well and good. Never once have they made me feel less than because I wanted to be, not a slut, but their slut and to sometimes be treated as such. And sometimes I am, but I know that it is also done in a loving, caring manner. That may seem at odds overall, but I’ve come to learn that the word slut isn’t inherently bad. No words are inherently bad or good, but the intent behind them is what matters.

So now, when the command to “Come slut, now!” is hissed in my ear, ever so fiercely or ever so tauntingly or even ever so gently I do exactly as I have been told to do. Does this make me a slut? Do I care? Should I care? Or should I just shut up and come like a good slut?


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Why do I sex blog?

I started sex blogging in the beginning because it sounded cool and fun and maybe I could score some free toys to review. And I actually did win some contests that give me review material that I never could’ve afforded to buy on my own. I’m hoping to eventually have enough reach that companies will send me toys to review as well. And just as I was starting to get into the swing of things and start writing more than just opinion pieces and a few bits of erotica here and there, and posting my first review ( the Njoy Pure Wand if you’re curious) when my life and health went pretty sideways and I stopped blogging altogether. I wasn’t off to a great start.

Finally I picked my blog back up earlier this year and that’s when I really started to see just how much work one has to put in to keep it going. And I’m trying to do my best to write informed opinion pieces, good reviews, and fun,sexy erotica for people to read. But it isn’t easy to keep writing day after day, trying to come up with good and interesting content, and generally trying to promote my blog. I find it downright impossible to write some days and I know I should write anyway, even if it will never see the light of day on this blog.

But now I do this because it matters to me. I want people to come to my blog and read my reviews and choose a good, body safe toy based on that review. I want to encourage people to talk to their partners for better relationships (this one is particularly important to me.) I want to learn and grow and share not only my knowledge but the knowledge of other bloggers who are more well versed on a topic than I am. I want to provide a different perspective because not everyone has the same body type, vaginas and vulvas (vulvae? someone clue me in here), included.

So I try to let people know that I’m a fat sex blogger, I try to write with that in mind because fat women are sexy too. I try to keep my posts somewhat gender neutral, although I’m not always successful there because I can’t be. I can’t review male toys, obviously, so my reviews are generally going to skew towards a feminine perspective. I’m also not afraid to share how a toy suited me sexually, although I try not to be too graphic in this regard, which can be hard for me to do as I lack a lot of tact.

And one of the last reasons I do this is because I am a survivor of sexual assault and this is a way to help reclaim my self, my body, who I am, after years of rape and abuse. I want people to know that they aren’t alone, they don’t have to suffer in silence. If anyone EVER contacts me and says they’ve been assaulted or abused I will always have an ear for those people and try to help them even if it is just by responding to an email.

These are all reasons that I write and I’m certain I could probably find a dozen or a million more, but I do try not to bore my audience (Hi Everyone!!) to tears. And, you guys, I LOVE feedback so feel free to contact me, even if the feedback is negative. If you really want to start a blog of any kind, I say just dive in and do it, but know that, like sex blogging specifically, it is going to be a lot of work. There may be tears and heartache, you might spend ages trying get the perfect composition on a picture and you might be really discouraged if your blog seems unknown for a while. But you’ve gotta start somewhere. Find a topic you love and start there.

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Wicked Wednesday 229 – Playtime

Selena smiled with anticipation when she saw the envelope sitting on the kitchen table. Erik was obviously up to something again and her curiosity was piqued. Opening the envelope she found the note inside.


I’ll be home roughly an hour from the time you see this note. You will be showered, shaved, and dressed in the outfit I picked out for you and you will be waiting downstairs like a good girl.

I love you,


The pretty brunette giggled like a school girl and rushed upstairs to start the shower and prepare as she was instructed. She quickly showered, lotioned her olive skin, and dried her hair, all in record time. Wandering into the bedroom she spied the outfit Erik had left out for her and really hoped that he wasn’t planning on taking her out like this. The sleek, almost sheer black dress would be barely long enough for modesty and she wasn’t sure if she could walk gracefully in the black thigh high boots with silver four inch heels. Quickly she dress according to Erik’s wishes and tottered downstairs still hoping that they weren’t going out. She tugged at the hem of her dress feeling as though it was going to ride up and flash the black lacy panties she wore underneath and being unable to kneel i the boots she crossed her hands behind her back and bowed her head.

Moments later there was a key at door and Selena mentally sighed with relief to have met Erik’s deadline. He stepped into the house and smile at his wife’s display of submission. He removed his suit coat and tilted his wife’s face up to his for a kiss. “Good girl. Wait here while I change and then we’ll be leaving.” Her eyed widened and she opened her mouth to protest but was quickly silenced with a kiss. “Hush Babygirl.” You look ravishing and your dress is perfect with those boots. Erick was gone for one a a few moment and came back downstairs looking like sex personified to his wife. Leather pants and boots topped with a  jet black button down was Selena’s favorite way she liked her husband dressed and she knew he was indulging her.

He took her out to dinner at a little Italian bistro where they had their first date and she felt like everyone was staring, although many of the female patron were dressed up too, she felt a bit like a tart, dressed up for a john, which by the wicked smile on Erik’s face seemed to please him. They enjoyed dinner greatly while Erik teased his wife mercilessly the entire time by telling her what he wanted from her later.

On the drive home she was instructed to pull her dress up and masturbate for him until she had her first orgasm of the evening, which happened just as they pulled into the driveway. “Perfect timing my dear.” Erik got her out of the car and inside with her dress still around her hips and immediately upon closing the door he dropped to his knees and fastened his lips around her clit, the lace adding an extra layer of sensation. Selena moaned softly and leaned into him, steadying herself with a hand on the wall. It seemed like hours but really was only moments later that she came again. “Good girl.” He stood, swept her off her feet and carried her upstairs. “Dress and panties off. Boots stay on.”

Selena shimmered out of her clothing gracefully and stood there as Erik drank in her beauty before pulling her onto the bed with him and kissing her deeply.”You, my Darling, are in for a treat,” hr grinned and slid off the bed to undress before crawling back up the bed to her and twining his fingers into her hair, pulling her close. “I want you to suck me off, until I tell you to stop.”

She fairly dove for his groin and wrapped her lips around his dick smearing her lipstick as she did so. He kept his fingers in her hair, holding it out of the way while she milked him with her mouth and tongue. He felt a very slight graze of teeth and exhaled sharply. And sudden;y she dipped her head lower, taking him deeper. Erik moaned then and pulled her gently off of him. “Ohhh, that was a nice warm up. Good girl.” He kissed his wife again no more gently than before and pulled her close running his hands along her breasts, pinching her nipples lightly, then harder, as she whimpered for him. He loved hearing those noises and kissed her again drinking them in as his right hand slid along her belly, his left still toying with her breasts and nipples. He ran his fingers through the short nest of curls until her reached her clit, still sensitive from  his earlier attentions, and rubbed very slowly, very gently, until she was squirming against him, ready to come.

Erik kissed Selena’s neck and whispered to her, “On your hands and knees baby.” Selena shifted immediately knowing she was about to get a good hard fuck from her loving husband. And he did just that, sliding his cock into her wet, tight pussy, driving in and out while she thrust back against him.She shuddered and climaxed quickly and arched back silently asking for more. Erik happily obliged her until they were both right on the edge of orgasm again. “Now, Selena, now!” he hissed as he felt himself start shooting deep inside her. Selena cried out and rocked back against him moaning softly. And this was only the beginning of the night.



And in case you missed last week’s Wicked Wednesday post you can find it here.

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Anna’s First Threesome

Anna waited with bated breath for her guests to arrive. This would be her first threesome and while she knew she wanted to do it, right now the thought of it made her into a bundle of nerves. So much so that when the doorbell rang she jumped from her chair gasping; then she took a deep breathe and a quick moment on the walk to the front door to compose herself. With a smile on her lips she opened the door and invited her partners inside.

Elise and Jesse were both just as nervous as Anna, but they hid it a bit better, perhaps because their nerves had more to do with Anna than each other. Would she enjoy both of them? Would she be turned on by Jesse, but not by his blonde ice queen looking girlfriend? Elise was the daring one of the bunch and stepped forward and gave Anna just a little kiss on the lips, not quite giving the petite woman time to return the kiss; Jesse followed Elise’s movement, but his kiss lingered just a second longer.

“Well hello to you too,” Anna laughed and wrapped her arms around both of the couple pulling them in for a three way hug. “So, am I the only one that’s nervous?”

“Nope,” Elise replied, “I think you just might be the most nervous. Don’t be though. We’re gonna have a lot of fun I think.” And she grinned mischievously at her companions before unzipping her dress and letting it fall to the floor. And and even Jesse stared at her, surprised that she had been so brazen as to strip nude so quickly. With a shrug, Anna grinned and slid out of her own dress to reveal a prettily matching red bra and panty set and both ladies turned to Jesse, expectantly.

“Well I’d better be last tonight in everything so why shouldn’t it start off that way, right ladies,” Jesse gave the two girls a naughty look and began undoing his belt. While he stripped Elise moved closer to Anna, wrapping an arm around her waist. Anna nestled against her taller friend turning her head to plant a bold kiss on the side of Elise’s neck. Encouraged by the slight shiver she felt under her lips Anna continued trailing the kisses along, up to Elise’s face and finally kissed her lips gently. Jesse was naked himself at this point and just stood and watched the two women kiss for a moment before stepping close enough to touch them and putting his hands on Anna’s shoulders. “My turn.” he said gently spinning Anna to face him and kissing her no less gently than she had kissed Elise only moments before.

Elise took this opportunity to unhook Anna’s bra and slide the strips off her shoulders and down her arms, lifting her hands from Jesse’s shoulders one at a time to release them. She gave a little tug and Anna’s bra dropped to the floor at their feet. Anna pulled away from Jesse and looked at the naked pair of them. “I guess I’m still over dressed.” she commented as she shimmied out of her red lacy panties. They were left on the living room floor with her bra as she motioned Jesse and Eli down the hall. Neither of them could keep their eyes off of Anna’s shapely hips and ass as they walked down the short hallway and into Anna’s bedroom. She climbed onto the bed and knelt looking back at them and licked her lips. All the nervousness she’d felt earlier had faded away and all she wanted to do now was fuck and suck and orgasm to her heart’s content and these two gorgeous creatures were going to do it with her.

Elise took aim and swatted Anna’s ass a couple of times not even quite enough to turn her cheeks pink. Anna wiggled her ass and crawled into the middle of the bed . “What are you two waiting for?” Never one to miss a chance with a pretty woman Jesse was next on the bed kissing Anna much more insistently this time while Elise went straight to the other woman’s breasts pinching and playing with her nipples. Jesse held onto Anna with one hand and reached towards his girlfriend, giving her nipples the same treatment she gave Anna’s, which only made Elise pinch harder until Anna broke the kiss and cried out. “Too much?”

“No, just a lot,” Anna replied breathlessly, “Do it again.” Elise obliged her pretty friend, pinching and pulling as Jesse did the same to her. Both women cried out simultaneously and Elise fell into Anna’s arms for another soul searing kiss. Anna lifted her hips writhing again Elise and moaned, wanting more and more. All thoughts of nervousness had been forgotten by the three of them. Jesse watched, happy to do so for now and wondered where the two women would take things next. His question was answered when Anna grabbed Elise by the hips and forcibly ground their bodies together seeking that friction. Elise got the hint and immediately slid a hand down between their bodies and found Anna’s clit, rubbing it slowly, teasingly. Jesse had enough of watching and while Elise rubbed and teased and fingered Anna he rearranged his girlfriend so he could eat her from behind. Both women were happily sighing and whimpering at the attention they received. Anna bucked her hips hard against Elise’s fingers coming hard and fast. She lay limp under her friend for a moment before wiggling free to watch Jesse lick and suck at Elise’s pussy. She caressed her own sensitive clit gently, happy to just relax for a minute and idly enjoy the show before her. It was live action porn at its finest she thought.

After Elise came she whipped around and grabbed Anna’s hand leading her to Jesse’s dick where the two of them gave him a shared blowjob, licking and sucking and nibbling their way to delight; the two women were determined to see him come and he was trying so hard to wait. Anna looked up at him all innocence, “Jesse, I want you to come. Now!” The mixture of innocent forcefulness pushed Jesse beyond his limits and his came hard shoving himself deeper into Elise’s mouth as he did.

The threesome was about ready for a break by now and they just laid back on the bed cuddling and sharing gentle kisses with the promise of more to come later.



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Wicked Wednesday 228- Countdown (Learning to Count)

10, 9, 8, 7….Mercy counted down the strokes just like Master told her to, but she’d been counting from a much higher number than 10 and her ass and thighs felt the ache and sting of His hand first, then a flogger and a paddle. This is what happens when Mercy doesn’t obey.

The next day she could barely sit down, but that gave her plenty of incentive to get her chores done, exercise, and figure out a way to journal so her butt wasn’t too sore. Mercy knew she deserved to be punished; she’d been a bad girl, bringing herself to orgasm without His permission. She’d cried and tried to explain, but that only got her in further trouble. Her thoughts wandered as she wrote about the trouble and the spanking she’d received and soon she felt that same familiar ache between her thighs. Oh she wanted to; just a little bit. But she’d been threatened with a chastity belt if she couldn’t listen to the rules and follow them. That was definitely not high on her list of punishments at all.

He got home from work that afternoon and heard the sounds of His pet cooking dinner and singing softly to herself. She rarely sung in front of him and he loved the sound of her voice so he stayed quiet just to hear her for a moment more, smiling and proud of her. Sir strode into the kitchen just in time for her to turn and see him. A smile lit up her face as he grabbed her by the waist and spun her around. “Hello pet. How was your day?”

“Good Sir. I got everything done today and marked it off on the whiteboard so you can check it. And I was very good because I really don’t want a chastity belt.”

He left her to the cooking and relaxed in the living room after opening a bottle of  wine. When Mercy came to get him for dinner his eyes were closed and his feet were up in his recliner and she wondered if he had dozed off. “Sir, dinner is done.” His green eyes opened and he smiled as he stood and properly escorted His girl into the dining room. She served his plate then her own while he poured the wine and they ate in companionable silence.

“Pet, since you were such a good girl today I have a reward and a challenge for you. When you’re done with your wine I want you to go upstairs and undress for me. I’ll meet you in the bedroom.” “Yes, Sir.”

Mercy had to resist the urge to gulp down her wine, knowing that He preferred her to be ladylike at all times so she sat, savoring the glass and trying not wiggle, because not only did that remind her of her most recent punishment, but also wasn’t very proper. Once her wine was finished she smiled in anticipation. “Sir, I’ve finished my wine. May I be excused?” “Of course, my pet. Go follow instructions for me like the good girl you are.”

Sir left Mercy upstairs and waiting for some time, while she sat naked and waited as patiently as she could. He smiled as he entered the room. She smiled up at him. “What shall we do tonight, Sir?” He picked up an hourglass that was new to the room (when had he brought that up she wondered) and gave her a wicked smile. “This is an hour long timer. For the next hour we are going to play and you will have at least twelve orgasms in that time period. You’ll count downward from 12 one at a time and if you have more than twelve you start back again at twelve.Oh, and if you fail to give me those twelve orgasms, then you don’t get any for a week.” His wicked smile returned and before he turned the glass over he told her that the first time she was going to come by masturbating for him. Mercy grabbed a bottle of lube and began. Her fingers slid across her clit around her vulva and dipped into her pussy before circling back up to rub her clit again, hard and fast. She’d been waiting all day for this orgasm. Sir stepped stepped to her side of the bed and began to play with her nipples, pinching and pulling at them. Mercy gasped and arched her hips upwards as the orgasm hit her. “12.”

He gave her no time to recover and plunged his fingers inside of her, curling and fluttering them hard and fast. It only took moments before she was gasping with please and managed to squeak out, “11.” Sir’s fingers were merciless against her skin ad he trailed kisses where they touched while her fingered her to number, “10.” He kissed and sucked at her nipples, biting them lightly and replaced his had with hers. Mercy arched her body against his mouth and played with her clit, pinching at it just so. She was out of breath already and had nine more orgasms to go. Sir leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Come for me slut.” And she did. “9.”

Quickly Sir’s mouth replaced his fingers and in no time at she was moaning and pushing her body against his face. She loved that feeling and loved it when he…”8!” He didn’t stop and flicked his tongue across her clit and moved lower to suck and bite at and around her pussy almost as though he was trying to kiss her there. She played with her rock hard nipples with one hand and reached for her favorite vibe with the other, thinking it would come in handy soon. It got dropped on the bed unceremoniously, “7 Sir,” she gasped. He climbed up onto the bed and drove himself inside of her resulting in an immediate orgasm from the sensation. “6!”

Mercy was gasping and so sensitive she wasn’t sure if she could make it at the way down to one, but she was certainly going to keep trying for Sir’s sake and her own. As he fucked her she grabbed the vibrator that was lying on the bed where she’d dropped it and turning it on, placed it against her clit rocking her body in time with His. Her eyes closed and Mercy just let the feelings was over her knowing that another orgasm was imminent. Sir was pushing her hard and fast to get those orgasm in the allotted time. He wanted her to succeed. She lifted her head off the bed to see the hourglass and guessed she had 20 minutes to have another 5 orgasms. Sir noted her distraction and gathered a handful of her brown hair. “Pay attention pet.” And he pulled hard enough to make her scream and come again,”5! That was 5″

And Sir played with her harder and faster and tossed her around the bed like a toy only wanting to fuck His girl down to one. And her did as all of a sudden she was screaming her counting, “4,3,2,1, her voice ended on a wail as he hit that one spot, just as the hourglass dropped the last grain of sand.


And just in case you missed it, you can find last week’s Wicked Wednesday post here.

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National Coming Out Day

So about two weeks ago now I wrote a post about feeling Insufficiently Queer. At the time I was very bothered by my lack of visibility to myself and the world at large. I was frustrated and unsure what to do about it.

Turns out that today is National Coming Out Day. And I thought about it all morning long and into the afternoon. I wondered what, if anything, I was going to choose to do. I mean, I know, my partner knows, most, if not all of my family knows, but I still wanted the world to know as some sort of validation I guess.

So I came out via Facebook on my personal page. I won’t be sharing the status here for anonymity reasons, but I will say that it did get a lot of positive feedback, some of which I expected, some of which kind of surprised me. I also won’t be surprised if I lose a friend or two over this, but if I do then they weren’t really my friend in the first place.

I’m queer and I’m not letting my fear of rejection or ridicule or anything else stop me anymore. No more fear. Not today. Not ever again.

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Differing Desires

In many relationships one partner will have desires that the other partner doesn’t share, maybe because they don’t know about them or maybe just because it isn’t their thing. Both of these are valid reasons not to share a desire and I’m sure there are plenty of others. What happens though when you take two people, one of whom is part of the asexual spectrum and the other is not? How does that couple reconcile their desires?

Step one: COMMUNICATE. I simply cannot stress this enough. If you’re not talking to your partner then that can only make things worse for your relationship, no matter what the topic is. So in that case, you may as well put sex on the table as a topic. I would hazard a guess that there are some asexual people out there who are willing to have “normal” PIV sex with their partners simply to make them happy. Perhaps other engage in more atypical sex acts that are pleasurable or enjoyable. And that is their prerogative and maybe that is where their communication levels have led them. If they are both happy and everything works for them, great! So now, we address the couple who, for whatever reason doesn’t want to do that.

Step two: Keep communicating to find what is right for you and your partner. Maybe they are OK with oral sex but not PIV sex. Perhaps they prefer to have sex on a limited basis and express themselves in other ways. They might not want to have sex at all and then you, as the more sexual partner, have to evaluate what that means for you. Maybe they don’t mind giving you pleasure, but don’t want you to do anything to them really; maybe kissing and cuddles are all they want. There are all kinds of permutations on how an asexual person might interact with their partner and I won’t try to list them here. Just work together to figure out what works best for the two of you. Eventually you’re pretty likely to come to a compromise that you both can live with.

These rules also apply to any couple who has trouble with matching desires or libidos and it takes work to figure out what you both want out of your sexual relationship. But if you can’t reach an agreement in bed, there’s no shame in splitting up because of sexual incompatibility. Sometimes love alone isn’t enough and that’s when it requires so major self evaluation to decide what is right for you and your partner should ideally be doing the same. You might conclude that you need to keep talking and working to figure these things out or you may decide that you should part ways. There isn’t anything wrong with that.

And even if you just have unmatched libidos in general, this same advice holds true. Perhaps you like to be flogged and your partner is leery to do so. Talk it out, give them time to consider if they are willing to try it, and then negotiate just how it is going to work out so that everyone involved has clear expectations of what will and won’t happen. Maybe you’ll discover something new about yourselves and it will enrich your sex life that much more. But none of this is possible if you don’t have conversations about sex with your partner (preferably not in the heat of the moment) and try to learn what each other wants and needs. Keep an open line of communication and go from there. You never know what might be fun that you’d never have discovered without having that little chat about fisting or bondage or even simple blindfolding for some light sensory deprivation.

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