Wicked Wednesday 272 – Black and White – (The Socialite and the Mechanic)

On the outside, she had it all. Her life was a whirlwind of glittering galas and charity balls. Her time was filled with social engagements and bad dates with men as rich as she. But those men bored her. She wanted something, someone real, and authentic in her life. Something beyond the boredom of charity work and ribbon cutting ceremonies. But she never knew where to look.

He was a mechanic and while his childhood had been stable and happy, they’d never had much. He scoffed to see these people on television or in glossy magazines, posing in clothes that could’ve paid his monthly mortgage twice over. But he had a good heart and never could resist a damsel in distress.

The teal 430i BMW rolled into his lot just about closing time and Allen rolled his eyes. Probably some jerk looking to get work done and they’d get angry when Allen said they were closed. Not what he wanted to deal with on a Friday night. He just wanted to go home, have a beer, watch the game, and unwind after a long week. As Allen got closer to the car, he could clearly see that the driver had a flat tire. He figured he’d stay and fix it; a flat never took long. His decision was cemented when a pretty redhead with grey eyes climbed from the vehicle. As she approached him, clearly upset, he smiled at her. “I don’t bite I promise. Any idea what you hit?” She shook her head slightly, “Not a clue. I just felt the car start to pull to the side and figured it needed looked at. I wasn’t even sure it was a flat tire.” And she laughed nervously. “But I see you’re closed up for the night. Can I leave it here and have you take a look Monday?” He arched an eyebrow, genuinely surprised at how down to earth she seemed, for driving such a spoiled rich girl sort of car.

“Actually, a flat won’t take long and you look like you’re on your way somewhere. I can fix this up in a few minutes and you can be on your way.” She grinned at him and gave a naughty giggle. “Take your time, I’m trying to avoid a bad date my mom set me up with. Here let me get a picture of the tire…” And she began to furiously text for a moment, clearly explaining to the date that she couldn’t make it and why, complete with picture. “There, that’s one to cross off my lift. And she laughed more freely this time., with him joining her. “I don’t know you, but I’d say you’re a devious little minx for that trick.” “Oh, where are my manners? My name is Lana Eggleston.” He nodded, “Allen Green. Nice to meet you Lana.”

The following Tuesday Lana’s cell phone rang with an unfamiliar number. “Hello?” “Hello, is this Lana? It’s Allen from Green’s Auto, I just wanted to let you know that your car is all fixed up and ready to go.” “Oh thank you! I’ll be down soon to pick it up.”

On the cab ride over to pick up the car she caught herself thinking about Allen and how handsome he’d been even in oil stained jeans and a grimy t-shirt, his hands black from his work. He seemed so down to earth and calm. So unlike the smooth talking men her mother seemed to think she’d prefer. Paying the cabbie she stepped out to see her baby parked in the lot and went inside to settle the bill. Allen waved her off, saying the work was on the house and she looked at him “At least let me take you to dinner. Your choice, my treat.”

They enjoyed dinner that night and quickly became an unlikely pair. They were just friends at first, sharing dinners, texting casually back and forth, and getting to know one another. Neither of them noticed when it happened, but the blue collar boy from the wrong side of town and the ball organizing socialite began to fall for one another. Lana knew it first when she was sitting next to him on his couch, drinking a beer and watching a football game and she realized that this could be her forever and she’d be happy with it. She tentatively scooted closer to him on the couch and his arm fell around her quite naturally in a gentle hug. As she settled against him and he smelled her hair and felt her small frame pressed to his he knew it too. “Lana…,” His voice was a hoarse whisper and she looked up at him, long enough to see the depths of his chocolate brown eyes before he pulled her into a full embrace his lips on hers.

They just seemed to fit right together and she nestled against him, putting all of the emotions she was feeling into the kiss they shared. Allen shifted his weight so he could stand with her in his arms and carried her to his bedroom, never breaking the kiss until he lowered her to her feet and looked at her seriously. “Are you sure?” “Are you?” And they kissed again knowing they were both absolutely certain. Moving slowly they undressed one another kissing and touching each new place as it was revealing. She learned that he liked his nipples played with and he learned that kissing the back of her right knee, but only her right knee made her shiver in delight. And that was only the beginning.

Finally they laid down together, still kissing, touching, and exploring. Slowly he kissed and nibbled at her fair skin as she caressed his tanned arms and ran her fingers through his slightly shaggy mahogany colored hair. They knew one another most intimately eventually and were both eager. There was the tear of a foil packet and a few moments later Allen hovered over Lana, looking down at her with such love on his face.

She hooked her legs around his, pulling him closer to her and they made love. It wasn’t fucking (that would come later), but this was slow and gentle, savored by them both. Growing closer to orgasm Lana grew more frantic and bucked her hips against his, only to have him hold her still and shake his head gently at her. And he moved in and out slower than before, easing her, drawing it out, wanting to watch her face as she found her pleasure. As gasp escaped her lips and she moaned his name. He grinned and suddenly rocked back and forth harder and watched her eyes shatter into a million tiny pieces as an orgasm rushed over her. He wanted to give her one more, but that feeling of her wrapped tightly around was too much and his own orgasm followed, his eyes closed in total bliss before he moved to lie beside her on the bed and snuggle against her. They cuddled there, whispering sweet nothings, until finally sleep claimed them both.

Outdoor Delights

Alisa stifled a moan as Eric slid his cock into her waiting pussy and bucked her hips up to meet his. She knew that they needed to be quiet to avoid being caught by another group of hikers, but he felt so good inside her that she wanted to scream. His hips pumped rhythmically and she bounced up to meet him, her nails digging into his back. They were both as quiet as possible, not wanting to be caught, but the thrill of the idea of being caught was what turned them on.

Alisa pulled him down to her for a fiery kiss, their tongues dueling as he fucked her. She could hear the wet sounds emanating from her pussy and that fueled her further, driving her closer to an orgasm. Eric’s fingers pinched at her nipples one at a time and when he stopped, her own hands replaced his. Their kisses smothered their moans and whimpers quite nicely and they clung to one another rocking back and forth.

Alisa pulled away from Eric and gasped. She could feel her muscles started to clench and so could he. He grinned down at her. “Come for me, baby. Let me feel it.” Her back arched off of the blanket they had thrown down and her entire body shook with the intensity of her orgasm. Eric never ceased pounding her pussy and the orgasm simply flowed into a second one. Alisa had to really fight the urge not to scream and bit down on her bottom lip hard to avoid making any noise at all. Eric kissed her again and suddenly she felt his body stiffen against hers. She broke the kiss and whispered, “Let me have it, baby. I’ll come again if you do.” That was all it took and Eric was thrusting as hard as he could before shooting a creamy load into Alisa’s dripping pussy. She came again with him their bodies spasming together on the blanket.

They laid there quietly for a moment until Eric cocked his head, hearing footsteps. Hastily the pair separated and dressed just in time to be sitting on the blanket pretending to chit chat as another group of hikers came by, waving as they passed. Alisa and Eric returned the wave, then looked at one another and burst out laughing at the almost but not quite getting caught moment. Alisa snuggled into Eric’s arms, “We’ll have to try this again sometime. What do you say sweetheart?” He laughed, “I’d like to try it again right now in a nice soft bed.” And he gave her a naughty wink.

KOTW -Names/Titles (Naming Him)

Martha and Thomas had slowly began to explore a Dominant and submissive relationship sometime ago and he frequently called her “Little Miss” or just “Missy”, but she didn’t know what to call him. They’d tried Master, but both of them found it to be harsh and grating. Sir didn’t have quite the ring to it they wanted and Daddy was just awkward for Martha to say to her husband. So finally one night she asked him what the protocol needed to be and what his title was going to be. He assured his Missy that he would think about it and that she was to as well and they would figure it out, but right now he was going to cuff her and fuck her.

She quickly found her hands trapped and legs spread just like he wanted. Thomas’ fingers caressed her and dipped into her pussy finding her wet and ready for him; his fingers stroked her over and over as she squirmed, begging to be allowed to come for him. “No Little Miss, you’ll come when I say so and only when I say so. You’re mine and I run this show. Understood?” Martha nodded her head, still writhing on the bed as she struggled not to orgasm before he granted her permission. Without warning he withdrew his fingers and stuffed them into her open mouth. Her eyes widened but she began to suck obediently, tasting herself and relishing it.

He climbed onto the bed, cock in hand and guided himself into her pussy, gently at first, slowly. He fucked her languidly, just barely moving as he looked down at her and kissed her forehead, her cheeks, and finally her lips ever so gently and whispered to her again, “You’re mine Little Miss.” She shivered beneath him at the words and arched her hips upward, wanting him to fuck her harder. He laughed softly. “All in good time, my dear. All in good time. His increase of the pace at which he fucked her seemed incrementally slow to her and she was a greedy Little Miss who wanted more of his cock.

Thomas gave her a naughty little smile and suddenly slammed hard into her, causing her to cry out and try even harder to take as much as he would give her and then some. They fucked hard and relentlessly, Missy struggling to hold back the orgasm she had been denied and him enjoying the tight, wet heat of her body. She began to tense up and Thomas froze. “Not yet Missy, not yet. Not until you call me by my proper title.” She moaned softly half in pleasure, half in frustration. They’d played this game before, with her trying all kinds of honorifics hoping one would finally stick and become who he was to her.

“Please Captain, may I come for you?” He made a slight face and shook his head, holding very still inside of her body. “Please may I come for you my Prince?” They both burst into giggles at that one and feeling her clench around his cock made him groan with restrained pleasure. He moved in and out slowly waiting for her next request, to see what would come out of her lovely mouth next. “Dom, can I come for you please?” He tilted his head considering that one and shook his head, still not feeling quite right. She arched her hips against him silently begging for the game to end. “One more try for me Missy, a good one, and I’ll let you come for me.”

She tried very hard to think as she whimpered and bit her lip to keep from simply pleading with her Thomas to fuck her and let her have that orgasm she so desperately wanted. And her mind flashed back to what he said earlier, “You’re mine and I run this show.” She giggled and looked at him,. Her tone was slightly impish although still laced heavily with her desire. “Can I please come for you now, Boss? I promise I’ll be a good girl for you.” Boss. He rolled the word around his in his mind, hearing it in his head. “Say it again. Louder.” “Can I please come for you now, Boss?” He resumed fucking her hard now and grinned down at her. “You’re quite right Little Miss. I am the Boss and you will address me as such from now one. Got it?” She moaned out loud at the feeling of fullness before she answered him proudly, “Yes Boss.” “Now come for me Missy. Come hard!”

Wicked Wednesday 271 – (Encore)

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The concert was over and Ethan held Megan close to him as they walked back to his car. He’d lubed and fucked her ass during the second half of the concert and she was still thinking about being filled up and stretched by his lovely cock that she missed the words that he said. In a heartbeat she was pulled as close to him as possible and he whispered in her ear. “Attend little one.” Immediately Megan was drawn from her reverie and shot him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry Sir. I was just remembering earlier when you fucked my ass and how good it felt.” He laughed softly and slid a hand down to squeeze that aforementioned ass. “Well since that’s what’s on your mind perhaps we’ll do it again later. After your punishment, of course.”

The drive back to Ethan’s house was uneventful, but they could both feel the hum of anticipation building between them. He pulled into the drive and immediately jerked her across the car to him and kissed her hard his tongue tangling with hers. He finally broke the kiss and looked at his pet and smiled. “Let’s go inside.” He unlocked the door and ushered his submissive girlfriend into the house where she immediately knelt at his feet, her spread thighs causing her dress to ride up almost obscenely. He took in the view and nodded to himself. “Good girl. Wait right there.”

Moments later he returns with a small box and sat down across the room then motioned her over. She stood and walked to him, kneeling again at his feet briefly before he patted the seat next to him telling her she could sit. “I have something for you and then we’ll proceed.” And he handed her the box. Opening it, her entire face lit up as she gently pulled out a delicate silver chain collar. “You’ve earned that my dear and I expect to see you wearing it anytime you’re not wearing one of your heavier collars like you will tonight. You can try that one on later, but for now…” He removed a plain leather collar from his pocket, leaned forward, and buckled it around her neck centering the D-ring and giving it a little tug. Megan leaned into him as he did this and before he could pull away she threw her arms around him for a hug. “Thank you Sir. It’s lovely and I will wear it all the time.” He gave her a gentle kiss, “I know you will pet. Now come.” And he led her upstairs by her collar.

“Strip for me.” Megan giggled and turned her back to him, with a coquettish peek over her shoulder and unzipped the dress letting it slide off her shoulders, her hips swaying to music only she could hear. She let the dress fall to her waist as she danced her way towards him and slipped a bra strap from first one shoulder then the other. Undoing the bra she let it slide down her arms, but didn’t reveal her breasts to him quite yet. As she moved close though he reached for the straps and gave a tug causing her to release the bra. He pulled her closer and pinched both nipples at once making her gasp a little and then grin naughtily. A swish of her hips and she was naked for him, but for her high heels. He smiled approvingly at her and let his eyes rake over her curves possessively.

“Lovely. Now, over my knee you go. Do you know why I am punishing you pet?” “No Sir.” As she settled into his lap he ran his fingers though her long auburn hair, giving a sharp tug, “Because I can. isn’t that right?” “Yes Sir.” And his hand came down hard across her ass, once, then twice, all the way to a count of twenty-five turning her pale skin a gorgeous shade of red that he loved to see. He squeezed and massaged the round globes and she wiggled at his touch. She could feel his hard on through his tuxedo pants and whimpered softly. “Find something you want?,” he asked laughing as he leaned back across the bed and just managed to grab the lube and apply a dollop of it to his fingers. He circled her asshole rubbing gently at the puckered skin and felt her sigh. A little more lube and he slipped a finger inside moving it in and out. Megan moaned softly and wiggled again trying to press herself against his finger. Ethan laughed and stood her up, his finger slipping from her ass. “You’ve been so well behaved all night,” he commented as he began to strip himself of the tuxedo he still wore. “Now you’re going to be better.” And he pushed her backwards until she gently fell onto the bed and went to his knees attacking her clit with his tongue. He licked and nipped and sucked, long and slow, short and fast, and soon Megan was writhing beneath him. He looked up at her to see her watching him and smiled at her. “Come for me.” And his tongue lashed at her clit as she tensed just before her orgasm hit. She gushed all over his face making him laugh and the vibration from his laughter only made her come harder.

He stood and quickly lifted her legs into the air exposing all of her to him and slipped his cock into her lubed up ass, fucking her much more gently than he had during the symphony. His movements were slow and gentle and she trailed her hands down her body, tweaking at her nipples as he fucked her. Those grey eyes of hers closed as she felt her body come alive with pleasure and she tried to lift her hips to meet his thrusts. He grabbed her then and pulled her into him and she moaned.

Soon she had one hand between her legs and the other still toying with her nipples and her cries and moans had become nearly constant as he slowly drove her closer to the edge with his cock. He could feel how badly she wanted that orgasm and he shifted his grip to squeeze her ass, reminding her who she belonged to and that was enough. The orgasm raced through her like fire and she tried helplessly to lift her hips to take him deeper into her. He groaned now and shot his come into her ass, making her tighten around him yet again as she wailed incoherently at the force of her own orgasms. He slid out of her and gently lowered her legs to the bed. “Now that’s my good girl. Better than ever.”

If you’d like to read last week’s Wicked Wednesday post, it can be found here. It is the earlier portion of Ethan and Megan’s evening.

Review: Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation

This toy arrived incredibly quickly, especially given that it was shipped directly to me from the Satisfyer headquarters in Germany. The packing was a plain white box with a bill of lading that gave no information as to the contents or where the package was coming from in regards to the company itself. When I opened the box, the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation was well packed and secure within the box.

Satisfyer2NGPackage

Upon removal the packing looks identical to the regular Satisfyer Pro 2 box with the exception of being labeled “Next Generation.” I would’ve liked to have seen something a little different just for the sake of variety and ease of telling the products apart at a glance. I broke the Hygienic Seal on the box and opened to reveal a toy that looks identical to the Satisfyer Pro 2. We’ll see if the claims that it is quieter, has better power, and if its differently designed head make a difference in my pleasure.

My first impression of the toy, when turning it on, is that it is definitely much quieter than the original Satisfyer Pro 2. This will be a good thing for anyone who wants some privacy or has shared housing. Put it under a blanket and close the door and it would be unnoticeable. When I got to playing around with it, I noted that it the light was much less bright than its predecessor and that the buttons to change the settings are slightly larger and easier to hit. The body of Pro 2 and the Pro 2 Next Generation are still identical in shape and size (I was hoping for a slightly longer handle), but the head on the Next Generation is significantly wider and overall larger than the one on the Pro 2. According to Satisfyer, out of a focus group of 250 women, 98.7% of them preferred the new larger head. According to my clit I have a hard time telling the difference. Another claim is that the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Gen has better power than the regular Pro 2. This claim is one that I can agree with and I was able to orgasm with the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation as easily or more so than I was with the original Satisfyer Pro 2 And, as with the original Pro 2 this toy is also stated to be waterproof.

Left: Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation                               Right: Satisfyer Pro 2

Going back to the buttons on the two different models, the original Pro 2 didn’t let you adjust power levels up and down (it only went all the way up before going back down) whereas the Pro 2 Next Gen allows for going back and forth along the range of pulses. I know this is a fix that many people are likely to appreciate. I certainly did! My only initial complaint about the buttons was that they felt stiff and hard to push. Then I realized I was pushing too far from the center of the buttons and everything was fine again. I felt a little silly even.

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If I had to choose between the two toys, I would pick the Pro 2 Next Generation, if for no other reason than that it is quieter and more powerful that the original Satisfyer Pro 2. Those two things alone sold me on the newer version of the toy right away. The less bright light and the size of the head are both incidental things, that to me, are useful and good, but not earth shattering whereas the better powered Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation has a lot going for it! It is available from Peepshow Toys for $69.00 or you can shop at your favorite body safe sex toy retailer.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation was provided to me for free from the Satisfyer brand in exchange for a fair, unbiased, and honest review. There are affiliate links used in this post.

Wicked Wednesday 270 – Bond – (In Concert)

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Ethan smiled and shot his girl a text, “Symphony Hall. Tonight. 7:30. Wear that short black dress I like. No panties.” Megan smiled and took a break from her work as the phone buzzed on her desk. Her smile grew wider as she read the text. “Yes Sir.”

She rushed home after work to get ready and by 6:00 she was just zipping up the short lace covered black dress that hit mid-thigh and had a sweetheart neckline to really show off her ample cleavage. She darted out the door and headed for the concert venue. She had no idea who was playing or what Sir might have planned for her once she arrived. It only made the anticipation sweeter.

Megan arrived a bit early and looked around the lobby for Ethan. Not seeing him she waited patiently to see if he would find her or text her more instructions. Moments later she felt a warm hand on her shoulder and turned to see him in a black tuxedo and she smiled up at him. “You look dashing. “And you, my dear, look good enough to eat.” She blushed as he leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, lets go find our seats.” And he led her through the crowd to a private box where they would be undisturbed. That’s when she knew he’d be up to something for sure.

As they settled into the plush seats and the music began to play, Ethan was trailing his fingers along Megan’s thigh, just barely touching the hem of her dress each time. Before long she was paying more attention to him than to the music and watched him from the corner of her eye to see what he would do next. Without any warning his hand was under her skirt and her legs spread of their own accord which won an approving smile from his lips. He caressed her inner thighs gently, never reaching quite as high as she was beginning to wish that he would. Megan began to squirm a little, pushing her hips outward, trying to get his hands to make contact with her wet pussy. Ethan calmly removed his hand and smiled over at her. “Need something my dear?” “Just you Sir.” He grinned naughtily at her. “Well, in that case…” And he unzipped his fly, pulling out his half hard cock.

“Get it good and hard and good and wet and I’ll fuck you in time to the music. If you’re lucky it will be a fast part so I can pound that pretty pussy of yours just the way you like.” Megan slipped to her knees, glancing around, but seeing nothing other than the box walls around her she wrapped her lips around his cock sucking gently on the head and using her other hand to fondle him. Soon she was taking him deeper into her mouth and quickly he was rock hard and she was simply working to get him as slick as possible. Without any warning he pushed her away from him, stood her up and spun her round to lean on the front of the box where she could see the crowd below. She felt him lift her dress and squeeze her ass gently.

Then she felt the tip of his cock pressed against her teasingly as he rocked back and forth. Her hips arched to meet his and he slid inside of her wetness slowly, so slowly that she had to stifle a moan. He leaned over her body and whispered, “Don’t be loud. The people in the other boxes might look over and see you.” Megan gasped at the thought and clamped her mouth shut hoping she could enjoy this fucking without making a sound.

And Ethan fucked her hard and fast just as the timpani roared a solo and the cellos wrung the sadness from their strings, slamming into her over and over, one hand holding her hip and the other toying with her clit a bit roughly, rougher than normal because he wanted her to come all over his cock hard and fast. Her head dropped down and her eyes closed as she began to tense and he knew she was close to an orgasm. He stopped his movements for a second, long enough to tell her they were being watched and her head shot straight up as she looked around to see if he was correct and then his cock pistoned into her again. The feeling of him, plus the idea of being watched sent her over the edge and she had to suppress a loud moan when she felt herself tighten and clench around his wonderful cock. Her orgasm shook her to the core and she went slightly limp before he pulled her back against him and gently lowered her to the floor then returned to his seat.. “Good girl. Now come here and suck me clean.” Megan immediately did as she was told, trying to wiggle her dress back down to cover herself at the same time. A hand on her shoulder stopped her as Ethan stared down as her succulent ass, thinking he might fuck her there after intermission. Her head bobbed up and down on his cock, further smearing what was left of her lipstick and she knew it, but just didn’t care. She could taste her come on his skin and it made her hungry for more. She wanted to taste him as well and she began to work in earnest to feel him come, to feel his cock pulsing in her mouth.

Ethan hips began to thrust in time to the music that was playing and Megan simply held still letting him fuck her mouth and took quick sharp inhalations every chance she could. Without warning, after a quick breath he pushed harder and slid his cock down her throat, holding it there. She rested her hands on his knees for as long as she could then began to tap frantically at them and he withdrew completely allowing her a few deep breaths before he resumed fucking her. She tightened her lips around him squeezing hard and his hips bucked once, twice, and a third time as he filled her mouth with his semen. She gave a small delighted moan and swallowed like a good slut should, then opened her mouth to show him as he withdrew his cock. As they resettled themselves in their chairs and Megan fixed up her makeup he whispered to her. “You’ve been good for me tonight, but you’re going to better later.” She turned to ask what he meant but he was already back to watching the concert and she knew he wouldn’t answer. She wondered what he meant.

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Transformative Sex in my Life

Sex, for me, has always been something of a transformative experience. When I was younger it transformed me into someone desirable and wanted by the fuck buddies that I had. It also made me feel powerful to be able to give and receive such pleasure. I was a Goddess. There was no ritual to the sex; we were just people coming together in the most intimate of ways. It opened my eyes to many of the joys and exciting or taboo things about sex and I loved exploring every minute of it. It gave me a type of freedom.

After I got married sex was still transforming me, but not in a good way. My ex-husband used coercion, sometimes mild force, and the age old threat of “I’m your husband, it’s my right” to get sex from me. He was a selfish lover and I often finished our encounters unsatisfied and unhappy at the very least. He would clean up and pass out to sleep and I would lie awake wondering what I had done to deserve the treatment I received from him and why he couldn’t just love me the way I had always dreamed of in the fairy tales. I learned quickly that marriage (mine, at least) was no fairy tale, but yet I stayed. I was determined to make it work. Ultimately, that didn’t happen and I’m in a better place emotionally, mentally, and physically than I was when things ended about five years ago. But I am still damaged from the transformation and impression placed upon me by our sex life.

I struggle to express my needs and wants. Sometimes I can’t handle being touched. I feel broken or ashamed of the things I want or need to be satisfied in bed. These things transform me too. I become someone who is timid and unsure, someone who can’t (or won’t) ask for what I want to be happy. That often leaves my partner guessing and in the dark and this is a bad habit I know, but nearly a decade of habit can be hard to break.

That said, my sex life now is more positive than it has ever been and again I am transformed by it. My partner touches me freely with my consent and checks in often during sex to make sure that I am OK or having fun or just to make sure that I know I am loved. The first time we had sex blew my mind, especially because no one’s clothing came off, but it was sex all the same and some of the best I’ve had in my life. It was almost a spiritual thing for me and I’ll never forget it. Since then our sex life and blossomed into something that makes me happy, that I derive a deep pleasure from that isn’t just sexual in nature.

Sometimes my orgasms are so mind blowing that I forget to breathe and, inevitably, will pass out for a few seconds. My partner has been trying to train me to remember to breathe through them and therefore prolong the orgasm for as long as possible. They only want what is best for me. And they tell me that I am a “good girl.” Again, I am transformed into a lover who wants to please and by extension of pleasing, be pleased because I am good.

Sex has changed and still changes me in different ways every time it happens. It can also challenge me to reach higher, seek out new heights of passion or approval. I find my freedom in sex and sexual release; it lets me be who I am and who I want to be without judgment or censure. Those feelings and transform me and I am, once again, a Goddess of my own design, one who sees and loves and gives and takes. Sex has slowly begun to turn me into the person I’ve always wished that I were to begin with. Powerful, confident, and sexy. None of these come easily or naturally to me, but gradually as I reclaim my sex after years of abuse, those old feelings return. And so do I.