Sexy isn’t a requirement

Sometimes being sexy just isn’t going to happen for you. Maybe you’re having a bad day or you’re tired or sick or just plain not feeling sexy for any number of reasons. And that’s OK.

Society today bombards us with images of sex and sexiness everywhere and seems to have general expectations that we meet when it comes to being sexy. For example, I’m fat so I can’t be sexy. I call bullshit by the way; I can be sexy whether I’m fat or thin or curvy or whatever. And so can anyone else. That said…

For some people sexiness seems to be an inherent trait and they make it look effortless and easy and perhaps they can be sexy with a runny nose and a cold, but for a lot of us it takes a bit of work. Some days that work is too much effort to make. And since you don’t owe it to anyone but yourself to be or feel sexy then what’s the big deal? Or maybe sexy for you is something that most people would call anything but sexy. Are you comfy in jeans and t-shirts? Does it make you feel sexy even if you’re not wearing heels and a ton of make up (sexy stereotype!)? Then rock the look and don’t worry about the haters. After all, maybe you’re wearing some seriously sexy underwear and that’s part of what makes you feel sexy. And maybe that sexy underwear is something that doesn’t meet gender norms for your perceived gender, whatever that may be. Who cares?!

Unfortunately, we see too many people out there who do “care” and that is all part of the idea that men can tell a woman to smile or how other women might make backhanded comments if you’re not wearing make up i.e. “You look tired, today.” or “Are you sick?” Sometimes these are genuine concerns from our friends, but I’m betting most women have encountered this sort of subtle attack on their choice to not wear make up at least once. I’ve also been criticized because I dared to wear a skirt with unshaved legs; until that comment had been made I felt sexy, but then I let that one little thing get under my skin and suddenly sexy was hard and that was OK. I try not to let other people’s comments or my own inner monologue get me down, but I understand that sexy all the time just isn’t my thing. I’d rather be comfy with no makeup and messy hair and that’s not sexy to a lot of people. I just don’t care. And neither should you, dear reader. Revel in who you are and what makes you feel sexy even if the rest of the world can’t see past it to who you are.


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