Ashlyn couldn’t believe the crazy turn of events her life had taken last night. She certainly never thought she’d do something so out of character for her. What on earth possessed me, she thought. Do I love him? And with that she curled up in bed, pulled out her journal and began to write.
You know I’ve always been the “good girl”, I said I’d wait til I got married to have sex, and never let boys in high school do more than kiss me. It earned me a reputation for being frigid, but at least I didn’t have to deal with the lecherous teenage boys at my high school anymore.
Then I started college and I stayed home on Friday nights and studied. I missed all the parties my freshman year and my roommate and her friends constantly ribbed me for being a goody two shoes. I even earned the nickname Sandy like from the move Grease. I didn’t care, of course. I had made myself this promise when I was 14 and I was determined to keep it. Not for some religious reason, not because my parents asked me to, just because it was my personal choice.
And last night just changed everything. my world has been flipped topsy turvy, upside down, and side ways all at once. I know I’ve mentioned Logan before. He’s a genuinely nice guy that works in the art department at work. And he is also hot, hot hot. Blond hair, hazel eyes, and the most to die for smile I’ve ever seen; not to mention the not too perfect, but still perfect body. We met at an office mixer a while ago and hit it off right away. He said he liked my quirky humor (I think I’m just silly, but whatever) and asked me for coffee a week or so later. We’ve bonded over a shared love of comic books, coffee, and other goofy, geeky things. He’s never pressured me, never intimated that he wanted more, and always been a perfect gentleman.
But last night…wow. We’d been out having coffee and talking like always and he invited me back to his place. I said yes, innocently enough, and off we went. Even his apartment is well decorated, unlike some previous men I’ve known. Anyway, the good bits. When we arrived at his apartment he gave me a quick tour and jokingly asked if I wanted to try out the bed. I laughed it off and we sat and talked, comparing notes on a particular comic series that he’s reading. And he looked right me, “Ash, can I kiss you?” I was shocked that he wanted to for one and also shocked that he asked. I’d never been asked before. And I said yes. He put his hands on my waist pulled me into him and gave me the most gentle, soul stealing kiss I’ve ever experienced. I knew then that even if I didn’t marry this man I wanted him to be my first. We parted and I wondered if the half dazed look on Logan’s face matched mine. “Wow. I’ve never been kissed like that before,” I told him self conscious and blushing. He smiled at me, “I’ve never kissed anyone like you before. I want to do more with you, Ashlyn, but I know that you’ve always said you’d wait. I won’t push you. Ever. But if you want more all you have to do is say yes.”
His confession only made me blush harder and I felt incredibly simple in that moment, like I’d be a fool to say no, but wanting to say yes and so very afraid of something that I said I’d wait for, but wanted so very much. My confusion had to have shown on my face an Logan pulled me closer to him, aiming to kiss my cheek. I turned my head swiftly and our lips met once more. It was just as glorious as that first kiss, slightly more insistent, but gently so and I felt his tongue touch my lips which seemed to part of their own accord. When we came back to ourselves I was in Logan’s lap and we were tipped across the couch. I could feel his arousal and I noticed for the first time how wet I was. “Logan,” I whispered his name, making it a question. His eyes found mine once more and he just smiled that lovely, tender smile. “Yes.”
And what followed was utterly amazing. He kissed me again ever so gently and pulled me to my feet leading me back to his bedroom. I was shy about undressing in front of him and he could tell so we went nice and slow and finally we were both nude in the dim light of the room. I wanted to see more of him, I wanted to touch him. And oh, I did! Everywhere I could reach, and I do mean everywhere. Who knew that a man could be so soft and yet so hard at the same time. Logan threw his head back as I caressed him and despite my own inexperience I figured I was doing something right. He pulled my hands away with a soft murmur of regret and guided me backwards onto the bed where he kissed me again until I was dizzy and giggling at the touch of his hands skimming across my breasts, stroking down my stomach and going lower still. I was ready for this and eager and I wanted him so much.
His mouth followed the same path his hands had kissing and licking and nibbling at my skin until he reached the juncture between my thighs. A tiny kiss just above that sensitive skin and he looked up at me, “I want to taste you.” I nodded, not trusting his voice and he lowered his blond had, his breath teasing me ever so gently. Then a soft slow lick of his tongue. I was amazed at how good just that one motion felt and arched my hips against him. His hands came up to wrap around my thighs and pulled me against him. Suddenly he was licking and sucking in earnest and I was writhing beneath him. This was the furthest I had ever been in a sexual encounter and for the life of me I wasn’t quite sure why I had waited. But this felt so right that maybe it was just meant to be. My own orgasm caught me off guard and I cried out my hips bucking involuntarily against him. I feared I might’ve busted his nose from all the wetness I could feel between my thighs, but when Logan looked up, his face slightly shiny and no blood I realized he’d just made me come that hard. Even when I masturbate I can’t do that.
Logan slid back up the bed and we shared another kiss; I moaned at the taste of myself on his lips. That was just…just erotic is the only word I can fathom for it. I heard him fumbling with a foil packet and tried to stay relaxed as my nervousness came back. “It’s OK Ash. We can always stop here.” “Logan, I don’t want you to stop. I want you to be my first.” I was suddenly shy again, as if being a virgin at 27 was an incorrect thing, but he merely gave me that smile again and kissed my cheek, then down my jaw, and to my neck. “Are you sure?”, he murmured in my ear. “Yes.”
I heard the tear of foil and readjusted my hips, waiting, wanting. I squirmed impatiently and Logan grinned at me. “Ready, my dear?” My only reply was a nod and he moved so he could slide inside of me. He was gentle and the orgasm from him eating me out had helped, but things were still a bit tender. I clutched his shoulders above me and stared into those lovely hazel eyes as he sheathed himself deeply in my body and I moaned at the feeling. It was incredible. He moved slowly at first then marginally faster, teasing me, stopping completely to let me feel him and then would move again. Soon was gasping and writhing and my hips bowed upwards meeting his thrusts harder and harder.