Foreplay is one of those things that a lot of people don’t quite seem to get. And while it is portrayed like most of those people are men (heterosexual ones in particular) I don’t find that to be the case. Many people from all genders and sexualities place less importance on foreplay and more importance of getting off either for their partner or for themselves. But orgasms can be difficult and without some warm up they might even be impossible for some of us. That’s part of why foreplay matters.
I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard the tired trope of one partner doing all the work when it comes to foreplay while the other just lays there and enjoys being petted and loved and generally spoiled by their partner on the path to orgasm. Again, I’m drawing generalities here but this seems like it would be most likely to happen in a heteronormative relationship in which the man is the one doing all the work. How is that fair? Doesn’t your partner deserve (and need) foreplay as well? But Livvy, you say, some people are ALWAYS ready to go, most notably men. That’s a stereotype y’all. Sometimes a man of any orientation needs a warm up round just like the ladies do. This is why we need foreplay.
There are lots of reasons why foreplay matter to people. I’m sure more that just the few I have touched on here. To me, the lesson to take from this is that foreplay is your friend and should be a welcome part of your sex life. Embrace it, use it to learn new things about your partner, use it to learn what you like your partner to do to you. This is why we need and want foreplay in our lives. And some people don’t even realize that their partner might want or need foreplay because they don’t ask and the partner, for whatever reason, doesn’t share their concerns about it. if you’re not sure, just like with consent, always ask. You might be surprised at the answer.
Sex is just better with foreplay no matter who you are or what your preference. Next time you get into bed with a partner remember that and don’t forget to show them some love as well. lying there like a dead fish while your partner does all the work for you and reaps none of the rewards just isn’t fair and could breed resentment within a relationship. Good foreplay also makes for better casual hookup sex. It gives you a brief amount of time to kind of gauge what your current partner likes and dislikes and again, better sex! And who doesn’t want better sex in their life?
So, what’s your favorite type of foreplay? Do you have any suggestions that I might like? Comments in general? Let me hear from you!