I think that for many women being called a slut can be incredibly damaging and derogatory. In fact, it has been for me before. I spent years dealing with what felt like shame and stigma over my desires because a person I loved called me a slut for having them. It colored my outlook on sex and my own sex life is a negative light.
I’ve had my share of casual sex, I’ve been in committed relationships, I’ve even (once) had a threesome, but I never considered myself to be a slut in terms of someone who had an excess of partners or loose morals that many people seem to feel applies to a slut. But oddly, the shame was still there. maybe because the word was coming from someone who claimed that they loved me, yet could say such hurtful things.
Secretly, though, I had this desire to be called a slut during sex and often masturbated to that idea, getting off from it, from the thought of having this negative term thrown at me during sex. Up until the last few years, however, it had never occurred as my reality. Until one day it did. And I orgasmed just as hard then as I had years prior when it was just a fantasy in my head. That’s when I started learning to disassociate the word slut with sex and how I was having it, doing it, enjoying it.
Now it has become a joke between my partner and I and we both laugh and all is well and good. Never once have they made me feel less than because I wanted to be, not a slut, but their slut and to sometimes be treated as such. And sometimes I am, but I know that it is also done in a loving, caring manner. That may seem at odds overall, but I’ve come to learn that the word slut isn’t inherently bad. No words are inherently bad or good, but the intent behind them is what matters.
So now, when the command to “Come slut, now!” is hissed in my ear, ever so fiercely or ever so tauntingly or even ever so gently I do exactly as I have been told to do. Does this make me a slut? Do I care? Should I care? Or should I just shut up and come like a good slut?