KOTW – Going Commando – (Distraction)

There was something freeing about not wearing any panties. Callie enjoyed having this as her own little secret. Despite being in a Domestic Discipline relationship she never gave thought to what her husband might have to say about the matter regarding the idea; in fact she assumed that he was aware of the fact that she didn’t wear panties on a regular basis. How could he not be, she reasoned, and gave it no more thought.

Evan got home early from work and decided that Callie deserved a treat for having done so good at controlling her tongue when she’d been angry at him the night before. He couldn’t even recall what she had been angry over and he doubted she could either. He set up some candles in the bedroom and gathered some of their favorite toys; when he knew she’d be almost home began to light the candles giving the room a soft glow. He heard her open the front door and called down to her, “Join me upstairs honey. I have a surprise for you.”

Callie wondered what her surprise was going to be and hoped it wasn’t anything too crazy since she’d had a long day at work. She hurried up to him and gasped with delight when she saw their candlelit bedroom. He pulled her into his arms for a soft kiss, “Welcome home dearest.” His hands roamed her body and reached down to squeeze her ass, but was puzzled at the lack of a panty line that he should’ve felt. “Girl, lift your skirt.” Callie figured he just wanted to tease her a bit and obeyed. Evan walked all the way around her and then came back to look at her. “Why, my darling wife, are you not wearing any panties?” Then it dawned on Callie that perhaps this was something she should’ve asked or cared about it a bit more. “I…umm…well, it feels so good to not wear them. I can feel the air sliding across my skin and don’t feel so constricted.” “But to work? Really?”

And he spun her around giving her five sharp slaps to her already bare behind. “How long have you been doing this?” “I don’t know. A long time. I thought you knew I did it. You know I never wear them here at home.” “How would I know that when I leave for work before you do and have expectations that my wife will go appropriately attired? This is not appropriate, except for around the house, just between us.” And he smacked her ass to punctuate his words. “And now, instead of the nice treat I had planned for you, I have to give to a spanking, don’t I? Because you’ve been a naughty girl and naughty girls get spanked. Over the bed.”

She leaned over the bed, her skirt still raised with tears forming in her eyes. The candle light became dim and wavy in her view and she lowered her head, letting tears drip onto the bed. She hated disappointing Evan. She heard him pick up an object and tap it against his palm and realized it was the hairbrush that he liked to use when she’d been bad. She should’ve known, but she’d been hoping for some mercy. He gave her ass several more swats to prepare her for the spanking to come and leaned into her. “Now then, be a good girl and take your punishment for what it is.” He brought his arm down landing a strike with the back of the heavy wooden brush, right across the middle of one cheek, then the other alternating places and sides so her ass would be covered before he was done.

Callie’s tears had turned into full out sobbing and he gave her just a few more hard hits to drive the point home before climbing onto the bed and gathering her to him. “There, that wasn’t any fun, but you know it was good for you. Now then,” he said as he got up and began to extinguish the still burning candles, “You’re going to stay here in this very room and think about what you’ve been doing and how inappropriate it is to go without panties at work. I will be back later.”

Evan made a quick trip to the lingerie store and bout all kinds of satin and silk and lace underthings, ones that he knew would feel good against his wife’s skin and be a bit distracting at the same time. Returning home, he carried the bag upstairs and found her face into the pillows still crying a bit. He rubbed her ass gently. “Alright, my love, time for a new rule. Sit up and pay attention.” Callie did as she was bid and arched an eyebrow upon seeing the shopping bag. Evan began to pull out pair after pair of underwear, showing them to her and explained that she would wear them every day from now on, she would put them on before he left for work, and he would be checking.

A few days later Callie was sitting at work and squirming at the feel of the soft bite of lace against her skin. She was nearly as driven to distraction by her new panties as she had been when she didn’t wear any at all. A buzz from her cellphone got her attention and she picked it up. ‘Be a good girl and go take a picture of yourself in those lacy panties. I want to see them again.’ She did as Evan told her to do and giggled as she sent him the photo from the ladies room. Seems like wearing panties could be fun too.

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KOTW -Names/Titles (Naming Him)

Martha and Thomas had slowly began to explore a Dominant and submissive relationship sometime ago and he frequently called her “Little Miss” or just “Missy”, but she didn’t know what to call him. They’d tried Master, but both of them found it to be harsh and grating. Sir didn’t have quite the ring to it they wanted and Daddy was just awkward for Martha to say to her husband. So finally one night she asked him what the protocol needed to be and what his title was going to be. He assured his Missy that he would think about it and that she was to as well and they would figure it out, but right now he was going to cuff her and fuck her.

She quickly found her hands trapped and legs spread just like he wanted. Thomas’ fingers caressed her and dipped into her pussy finding her wet and ready for him; his fingers stroked her over and over as she squirmed, begging to be allowed to come for him. “No Little Miss, you’ll come when I say so and only when I say so. You’re mine and I run this show. Understood?” Martha nodded her head, still writhing on the bed as she struggled not to orgasm before he granted her permission. Without warning he withdrew his fingers and stuffed them into her open mouth. Her eyes widened but she began to suck obediently, tasting herself and relishing it.

He climbed onto the bed, cock in hand and guided himself into her pussy, gently at first, slowly. He fucked her languidly, just barely moving as he looked down at her and kissed her forehead, her cheeks, and finally her lips ever so gently and whispered to her again, “You’re mine Little Miss.” She shivered beneath him at the words and arched her hips upward, wanting him to fuck her harder. He laughed softly. “All in good time, my dear. All in good time. His increase of the pace at which he fucked her seemed incrementally slow to her and she was a greedy Little Miss who wanted more of his cock.

Thomas gave her a naughty little smile and suddenly slammed hard into her, causing her to cry out and try even harder to take as much as he would give her and then some. They fucked hard and relentlessly, Missy struggling to hold back the orgasm she had been denied and him enjoying the tight, wet heat of her body. She began to tense up and Thomas froze. “Not yet Missy, not yet. Not until you call me by my proper title.” She moaned softly half in pleasure, half in frustration. They’d played this game before, with her trying all kinds of honorifics hoping one would finally stick and become who he was to her.

“Please Captain, may I come for you?” He made a slight face and shook his head, holding very still inside of her body. “Please may I come for you my Prince?” They both burst into giggles at that one and feeling her clench around his cock made him groan with restrained pleasure. He moved in and out slowly waiting for her next request, to see what would come out of her lovely mouth next. “Dom, can I come for you please?” He tilted his head considering that one and shook his head, still not feeling quite right. She arched her hips against him silently begging for the game to end. “One more try for me Missy, a good one, and I’ll let you come for me.”

She tried very hard to think as she whimpered and bit her lip to keep from simply pleading with her Thomas to fuck her and let her have that orgasm she so desperately wanted. And her mind flashed back to what he said earlier, “You’re mine and I run this show.” She giggled and looked at him,. Her tone was slightly impish although still laced heavily with her desire. “Can I please come for you now, Boss? I promise I’ll be a good girl for you.” Boss. He rolled the word around his in his mind, hearing it in his head. “Say it again. Louder.” “Can I please come for you now, Boss?” He resumed fucking her hard now and grinned down at her. “You’re quite right Little Miss. I am the Boss and you will address me as such from now one. Got it?” She moaned out loud at the feeling of fullness before she answered him proudly, “Yes Boss.” “Now come for me Missy. Come hard!”

Wicked Wednesday – 262 – Blinded (Gorgeous?)

“Hello, Gorgeous.” I looked at my partner, then glanced around wondering if they were talking to me. As we were alone together, it seemed pretty obvious that I was the person being addressed. I just shook my head a little and gave them a hug. I absolutely couldn’t see why they were calling me gorgeous so I dismissed it and moved on.

Instead of being upset or annoyed with me for not acknowledging what they meant as a compliment, they have only kept repeating that same statement to me, sometimes multiple times a day or with slight variations for the last five years. Maybe eventually I’ll get it. I’ll get out of bed one morning and look in the mirror and see what my partner sees. Or there will be some crazy transcendental moment mid-orgasm. I don’t know.

I do know that I’ve never considered myself to even be cute, much less words like beautiful or gorgeous, both of which I am frequently called by my absolute favorite person in the world. Instead I look in the mirror and all I can see are the flaws that make me so human and imperfect and what I see isn’t good enough. It never has been for as long as I can remember. In a world where looks appear to be valued over everything else, I was raised to be the smart one. And it taught me that smart girls/women aren’t pretty. We’re awkward and maybe a little ugly on the outside, but beautiful on the inside (where it counts.) Being fat as well means I feel like I have that hurdle to jump as well, but I can’t jump; no really I broke a bone trying track once.

So here I am, over 30, overweight, and left staring at a reflection that I just don’t see as positive. Granted I no longer see myself as overwhelmingly negative and sometimes I don’t even see myself in a negative light at all. So I might be making tiny steps towards progress if you can call being neutral about one’s own image progress. But that neutrality often leaves me feeling a bit blind, because I don’t really look at myself in a mirror unless I am deliberately searching for whatever flaw I might have, either real or perceived. Often, I wonder what is wrong with me that I can be so conscious of my own appearance that I can’t just relax and see the good things about myself.

Of course, then I tell myself that there is nothing good about my appearance and I move on to something else that nags at me or my self esteem or whatever. I’ve just accepted that I’m never going to be the “pretty one”; instead I’m considered smart and that is supposed to be enough in a society where the female form is supposed to aspire to reach unattainable heights of beauty that I know I will never see. And my partner always comes back to “Hello, Gorgeous.”

wickedwednesday

If you missed last week’s Wicked Wednesday, you can find it here.

The Behavior and Belief of Young Women and Their Sexual Pleasure

This article is based off of a Ted Talk given by Peggy Orenstein regarding how young women see themselves and their sexual experiences and pleasure. The link can be found here.

Understanding consent is a vital part of growing up and dealing with the amount of sexual assault and rape culture in today’s society, particularly on college campuses. Young people must understand the ground rules of consent. This requires open honest discussion about what “yes.” means and what happens afterwards. There is a feeling of entitlement to engage in sexual behavior, but not a feeling of the idea that women could enjoy it.

Many young women describe their earliest sexual encounter as not responsible or enjoyable and often not even reciprocal. One young woman didn’t realize that her smart, strong image didn’t include sex. These young people are engaging in other behaviors like oral sex, instead of traditional penis in vagina sex, because often girls will provide the oral sex in order to avoid a situation that they don’t want to be in or as a form of protection. Young men or boys seldom reciprocate, but will expect a blowjob in lieu of sex.

Because there has always been a shadow cast over the female genitalia where they were made to feel dirty or unclean this creates a feeling of shame that is almost an indoctrination of the evils of female genitals. At the same time they are taught that their genitals are sacred. Studies show that this can lead to many young women removing most or all of their pubic hair, because they feel cleaner, or because they feel it can be humiliating because young guys might be (or are likely to be compared to older men) grossed out and would talk poorly about them. As this trend of shaving has risen is has the trend of labiaplasty in teenage girls. This is not a medically indicated procedure as a rule and can include side effects such as scarring, numbness, and diminished sexual sensation. It can also be problematic simply because it isn’t a part of a young girls sexual knowledge in many cases because, as you’re read more below, young women simply aren’t taught about the anatomy of their genitalia.

A psychologist at the University of Michigan posited the idea of intimate justice has political and personal effects on both partners. This theory raises issues about inequality, health, and violence among other thing. So who is entitled to engage and enjoy a sexual experience? The speaker kept coming back to the idea that the earliest sexual experiences they have aren’t things to “get over.” Women will use their sexual experiences to say that if their male partner is satisfied then so are they. Young men judged good sex on their own orgasms.

If sexual encounters are defined by young women with the words depressing, humiliating or degrading, and in almost 30% of sexual encounters women report pain during it, what does that say about the education for young women and men when it comes to sex ed? We can and should be doing better to provide education for these young people so they can go into their future and be able to make informed decisions, regarding consent, sexual activity, and help them define the parameters of that sexual encounter in a way that allows both partners to receive pleasure from the act. This is something that is important for a person’s entire life, not just as randy college students finding out who they are from a sexual standpoint.

Wanting your partner to be happy is not a bad thing or feel close to them, but there are many other ways to experience sexual pleasure or to enrich a relationship such as intimate touch or simple cuddling. An orgasm isn’t the only measure of happiness and the absence of pain should not be the bar for your own sexual happiness as a woman. Instead she should be able to have a pain free consenting encounter that gives her and her partner pleasure, that may or may not include orgasm.

“Parents of female children go right from navel to knees” and often skip explaining their genitals to them. It again, goes back to being ashamed of the female sex. And when sex education comes into play, boys are told about erections and ejaculation, where girls aren’t taught about how their sex organs work, but instead about periods and unplanned pregnancy; the idea of the vulva or clitoris is never mentioned. I know when I was a child that was the stereotype that I was taught. And it created something of a “psychological clitoraldectemy.” Not knowing how one’s sexual organs function is a problem and it can mean that many girls and young women don’t begin to learn their bodies or masturbate in a healthy way. This is a problem in their adult life, when these young women realize they have no idea what they want from sex or how they get pleasure from sex. I feel like this is part of why many young women say that hey are satisfied if their (typically male) partner reaches orgasm

In same sex encounters there is no orgasm gap and that is a liberating feeling that lets them work out their own scenarios of intercourse that don’t necessarily fall inside the norm. This gives gay girls a wholly different perspective on their sexuality and not having sexual intercourse for the reason of shedding their virginity. Some of them define their loss of virginity by achieving their first partnered orgasm.

Thinking of sex as something organic and not rushing towards a goal means that thing like intimacy, sensual touch, a pool of experiences of desire and touch and arousal. Sex must be talked about and normalized into everyday life in order to make those things OK. A study from a both a Dutch and American university had wildly varying results because the Dutch students were taught from an early age about sex and pleasure. American parents framed such conversations as risky or dangerous behavior. The Dutch children were taught more about consent and responsibility and enjoying themselves. The conclusion drawn here is simply that being more open and forthcoming about sex and sexuality with your children is going to lead to (gasp) them being more responsible and get more enjoyment out of sex. It needs to become far less of a taboo topic.

Hopefully, eventually a young girl can see her sexuality and revel in her sensuality instead of being afraid of the risks of sex, such as disease or violence, not to mention unwanted pregnancy. These girls have a voice and should be demanding that intimate justice for their own lives. Making the entire country more aware or sex positive could lead to better protections for assault victims and a happier, healthier sexual culture where young women or men aren’t afraid to come forth about what they need or want regarding their sexuality.

Nikki’s Surprising Journey (Demon House Pt. 4)

Slowly, Nikki came back to herself and realized she was curled in Beleth’s arms, but she wasn’t in her kitchen any longer. She didn’t know where she was. As she lifted her head to look around Beleth smiled. “Ah, you’re awake I see. And probably wondering just what is going on. So let me explain my dear. You are in my world now. It is a stunted pitiful excuse for the beauty of yours, but here you can be mine without aging, without worry, or fear. I can teach you more than you’d have ever learned from that book, although I did think to bring it with me. You’re Mine, Nikki.”

She could hear the capitalization in the word and shivered slightly before growing indignant. “I’m yours? Not for long if I have any say in you scheming, conniving bastard.” “Oh, such language. It won’t be tolerated here.” And Beleth gave her a wicked smile as she’d ever seen him give. Nikki was afraid now, for herself, for her life. She’d been duped by a demon just as the beginning pages of that old spell book had warned her about and she began to cry helplessly.

Beleth frowned, unsure what to do about the crying woman in his arms, so he just held her awkwardly and let her cry. He was realizing that he did care for her more than he had thought and wondered if maybe this had been a poor idea after all. He could always undo the binding and let her go, but if he did would she ever trust him again? Would he ever see her again? He resolved to do as much as he could to make her see the benefits of staying with him and hoped it would be enough. But if she stayed it would mean living with his rules.

Nikki slowly began to settle down again, but her terror was still quite evident and she felt so lost without the safety of her kitchen. “Why? Why me, Beleth?” The demon sighed heavily and pondered how he could best explain himself. Despite his misgivings, he decided to tell her the truth. “I’ve been alone for so long now. Many years. I never expected to find anyone again whom I could love or care for. You see demons rarely mate with other demons because the rate of failure is so high, demons often kill their partners in a blind rage for whatever reason; we are a rapidly dwindling race and the only way to save us is children. The only way we’ve found to expand our race is having children with the humans that we love. Those children because they are part human can grow up to have a child with a full blooded demon. This is a practice that’s been going on for millennia. And I’m telling you all this because I want you to know my history, but I also want you to know that I love you.”

Nikki looked incredibly startled at his last words and her mind went utterly blank. She had no response to the revelation she’d just been told and just stared at him silently for a long moment before looking away. Beleth sighed again, “I’m sorry. I never should’ve brought you here or performed the binding.” Her head shot up at that and this time her eyes met his with a vicious ferocity, “Binding?! You’ve trapped me here?” The terror she felt was gone replaced with a burning white hot anger. “Why? How? What would make you do this?!,” Nikki raged at him and then raised a hand and landed a perfectly placed slap across his cheek before sliding out of his lap and as far from him in the room as possible. “You fucking bastard! What makes you think I wanted to give up my life in my world? I have a job, friends, family and you just took that away from me without even asking!” Granted she thought that if he had asked she might have come willingly, but to have the choice forced upon her was too much, even if he did claim to love her. Tears threatened to spill over again but Nikki took a deep breath and wiped her eyes refusing to let them get the better of her. “What in the hell do you have to say for yourself!?”

Beleth gracefully shrugged his shoulders (how someone built so powerfully could be so graceful baffled Nikki for a moment before her anger returned); “I said everything I can say, my Dear. I am a selfish prig and wanted you here with me so badly that I made a rather impulsive decision. It doesn’t change that I love you. But it does throw your life upside down and for that I apologize.” Nikki sighed, knowing in her heart that she did love Beleth, but she was still so furious at him that she didn’t know if she could tell him so. And him having the nerve to make her a virtual prisoner was just too much. She wanted to rage and throw things and scream and cry and she simply didn’t know what to do. “Why did you bind me here instead of just letting me see things and make my own choice?” “Because if you see the horrors and atrocities that some of my kind commit you’ll never stay.” Beleth sounded wistful as though he wished things could be otherwise. “You said yourself you are a King among them. So put a stop to it.” Ah, if only it were that simple Nikki. I am not the only powerful demon in existence and I can’t stand against every single demon who does bad things. I don’t rule alone here, but on a council and in our own ways, we are all corrupt as I think you’ve learned.” And he leered at her just for effect, but it had the effect of making Nikki want to fuck him again. It was getting harder for her to care where they were and why she was here when Beleth was naked before her.

Nikki swore again softly and Beleth looked at disapprovingly. She stared back defiantly, daring him to correct her again. He shook his head, trying not to laugh and just watched the beautiful, naked woman, his eyes darkening. “You won’t give up that habit will you?” “Nope, no matter if I’m here or home, so might as well quit giving me that look.” he gave her a different look instead, one that made her want to drop to her knees and crawl to him, one that made her want to submit to his ideas of keeping her here. She shook her head and glared at him, “Stop that!” He gave her an innocent look. “Stop what, my dear?” “Damn you Beleth.’ Nikki began pacing and tried to ignore the big demon watching her, she tried to ignore his obvious desire, and most of all she tried to ignore her own. But it was all growing and soon it would be too much for both of them.

“Sooo, what about this? You release me from the binding and teach me how to travel between our two worlds. It seems like an acceptable situation from my point of view.” Beleth rubbed his face and thought for a moment. “That just might work. Smart mind to go with a gorgeous body. Perfect combination to me. Now come here.” His last words weren’t a request but a command and Nikki was tired of resisting him and herself. She walked over, putting a little extra sway into her hips and did exactly what she’d been wanting to do, taking his cock into her mouth, slowly, gently, teasing him. “Good girl”, he purred. Nikki sucked and licked at his cock, slurping it into her mouth messily, then pulling away slowly, drawing out both their pleasure. Beleth’s hips bucked, he was so anxious for her that he felt himself ready to lose control already. Damn, he’d felt that urge the moment she knelt before him. He held himself back not quite ready to come, wanting to hold her against the solid stone wall and fuck her instead, but fuck her mouth felt good wrapped around him.

With an impatient growl he pulled away from Nikki who let out a soft whine in response. He pulled her to her feet, picked her up and pinned her to the cold wall before sliding deep into her pussy. Nikki moaned and rocked her hips, forcing him deeper inside of her body. “Yes,” he hissed holding her harder. “Fuck me Nikki, rock those lovely hips against my cock and make me come for you.” Nikki met his eyes, feeling her pussy get even wetter at his words and began to fuck him in earnest, her hips moving as hard and fast as she could move them. Her eyes almost glazed over at the feeling as he flexed his cock inside of her. Between that and feeling him rubbing against her g-spot she was close, so close.

But she wanted more and wriggled her hips trying to finally, for the first time, take the entire length of his dick. Beleth knew what she wanted and began to help her, gently thrusting himself into her and writhed and rocked against him. It took several long moments but she felt him fill her completely and the orgasm that had been building within her simply exploded just as he gave one more thrust. Beleth felt her come on his cock and growled at her, “Again.” Nikki obeyed him blindly, another orgasm rocking her body against him and finally, he let himself come with a great roar. The pair sank to the floor Beleth supporting Nikki with his greater strength and held onto her tightly. She squeaked and he loosened his grip so she could breathe again and stared down at her. He didn’t want to let her go, but he had agreed to unbind her and teach her how to cross over at will. And he would do this, for her.

If you’re interested in how Nikki found herself involved with a demon you can read parts 1, 2, and 3, linked below.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Kink of the Week – Analingus – April 1-16

Andi showered, scrubbing herself nice and clean, paying special attention to her ass. Her boyfriend, Mike, had said he wanted to try giving her a rim job and she figured it might be something worth trying even though she had been a little squicked out by it at first. After some thought she decided it couldn’t be too different from having her pussy eaten and she really enjoyed that so why not give it a go?

She stepped into the bedroom to find Mike waiting with candles and some massage oil. “I figured this would help you relax babe. Come lay down.” She smiled at him and stretched out across the bed, pleased by the fact that he was looking after her and making sure she was relaxed and (hopefully) ready as she was still a bit nervous. Gradually Mike felt her body relax as he gave her a thorough massage, back and front. He gave her a deep kiss and looked at her. “You ready for this? I don’t want to push you too far.” Andi smiled up at him. “I think I’m as ready as I’m going to get. The massage was wonderful.” And she rolled back onto her stomach to give him access to her gorgeous ass.

He started slowly, rubbing his hands in circles and kissing the round globes working ever closer to her pretty little puckered hole. Slowly he spread her cheeks and gave a small tentative lick directly to her asshole. She giggled a little, “That tickles. Do it again though.” So Mike obliged and she giggled again. He decided that since she wasn’t telling him no he wanted more and swirled his tongue, then licked again harder. This time it didn’t tickle and Andi wiggled her ass a bit in encouragement. At that he dove in, burying his face against her and worked her anus, gently at first then slightly more forcefully dipping his tongue a tiny bit inside, only to pull out a flutter it against her anus. Andi moaned and reached underneath her, to touch herself. “Don’t stop Mike. That feels really good.”

So he didn’t stop and soon his fingers joined his mouth and tongue to push her higher. He wanted her come for him while he played with her ass. Soon she was arching her ass up into him and he used his hands to spread her cheeks as far as he could and licked and kissed and probed at her anus incessantly. He felt her body slowly start to tense up and just kept on with what he was doing, knowing she would come for him soon. Moments later she did just that, crying out and shaking, practically shoving her ass against his face. Mike never stopped his oral assault on her ass and she almost immediately had a second orgasm for him. Finally she pulled away and whispered, “Enough. Enough.” He stopped his ministrations and kissed each cheek gently before resting his head upon them. “So…wanna do this again sometime?” Andi just laughed softly. “Maybe I’ll have to return the favor.”

 

Sex with Women vs. Sex with Men (My Experiences)

I’ve had my share of sex with both men and women and it seems like there can be a huge difference between the two. Dating almost exclusively girls all the way through high school I was in awe of their softness and femininity. It was such a contrast for someone who felt they came off as hard and at least a little butch. I loved the way their skin felt under my hands and the softness of their lips. I loved that they often seemed soft and plaint and were ready, willing, and able to do anything I asked. If they said no, then it was no and the same went if I said no. I was very aggressive with them and it worked. I thoroughly enjoyed all the time I spent with my girls. One of my best nights was with my friend (we’ll call her Kitty) and she was soft and plump and her breasts were delightful. We are still friends and even now I love her a little.

Kitty was brave and fearless and would try anything that came up in conversation. We often shared nights at her house making love as quietly as we could so we didn’t get caught by her parents and then have to explain ourselves as neither of us were out yet except at school (although I suspect my father knew about me). But my experiences with Kitty were what shaped a lot of my sexual attitudes and mores because we were both willing to be so honest with one another.

With all my girlfriends and female FWBs learning our bodies and each others bodies brought only pleasure and we reveled in it, delighted by what we learned and shared with one another. Protection never seemed like an issue we had to worry about since we couldn’t get pregnant and the idea that one of us might have an STI never seemed to occur to us.

I did have sex with one young woman who was a few years older than me who was hard and definitely butch, but very tiny. It made for an interesting contract between the two of us because despite her attitude and mine being so similar I still took charge of our activities and she became passive and incredibly lovely for me. I remember that she loved my eyes and I could look at her and that was all it took to have her wanting. And I frequently teased her, by looking at her over the tops of my sunglasses with a wicked smile on my face, just to watch her melt. We didn’t last long, but she is the one who really taught me that my sexuality was more powerful than I knew. And I began to use that power to try and seduce straight friends I was attracted to, which never worked well, although many of them were flattered at the attention as teenage girls can be. When I realized that I could have this power over girls I got curious and began to try it out with the boys.

And when I say boys I really mean young men, most of whom were older than me as the boys at my high school didn’t date “girls like me.” I wasn’t a pretty, popular cheerleader nor was I slender or even considered notable. (It blew my mind that some of my girlfriends found me attractive even.) But I digress. Back to the slightly older young men that I flirted with and teased. They were harder. Their lips not as soft, their skin slightly rougher, facial hair and larger hands. Being intimate with a man became a far different experience for me. I became the passive one, letting them lead me into activities.

I was game for pretty much anything that came along, provided that protection was used, and I always enforced that rule. And the men I fucked all found me attractive despite my being a little chubby, with unruly wavy hair, and an average enough face. And they would tell me so, as much as the girls did, which both flattered me and blew me away. I could understand how another woman might find me attractive, but these men who could have easily been fucking someone much prettier than I was struck me as odd and strange at first. I finally began to believe it and that gave me a desperately needed confidence boost. I kept my circle of FWBs small (because that’s all these men were to me and I to them.) I let them manhandle me, fuck me, make me come, but not one of them was able to bring my submissive nature really to the forefront. Even my husband of ten years failed to do that, although that was largely lack of trying on his part. But even as I was passive with the men that I fucked or let fuck me I was never afraid to say stop or tell them no. And most of them (save my now ex-husband) respected that rule. Consent was important in all of my relationships and I made certain that people knew that. I never felt devalued because I didn’t want to do something. I don’t think sex with the boys at my high school would have been quite the same.

The most striking thing about sex with men that endeared me to them was that, contrary to the rumors I heard, these guys wanted to please ME. It wasn’t all about them, but it was about us. When you’ve heard different for as long as you’ve been talking about sex with your female friends it can be surprising to learn that they were wrong and it is OK to take pleasure in sexual acts with men. And I did, just like I had with the ladies I was with. But there was still something surreal about sharing pleasure with a man for a long time.

Overall, I think the biggest difference in my experiences tended to vary from person to person, more than from men and women. I know that I was the aggressor with one sex and the passive partner with the other, but it was all sex, and usually good sex, although I did have some bombs like we all have I’m sure. Those tended to be more with men for whatever reason. I think it was a lack of communication on both parts. Sex was and is something I enjoy and while today I choose to be in a committed relationship with a man, I would have zero qualms about getting involved with a woman if the timing was right and having that softer experience once again.