KOTW – Still of a Winter’s Night

KOTWLips

The moon was a ghostly galleon, the road a ribbon of moonlight and the lovers cared not at all for anything but one another. He’d come back for her with the yellow gold just as his words had promised. She was no longer just Bess, the landlord’s daughter, but his companion now to take to wife. She rested her head on his chest while he stroked her long dark hair; there still was a red love knot plaited there.

Suddenly he could wait no longer and guided them into the darkness, where a hidden cave appeared. Leading Bess inside he kissed her, he kissed the landlord’s daughter and held her fast to him. She ran her fingers down his velvet coat and smiled up at him. “Such a dandy. What will you do now that you’ve given up this life? Given it up for me.” Her black eyes sparkled with unshed tears and he kissed her. “Don’t cry my bonny sweetheart. You’re my prize tonight. And I intend to have my way with you,” he spoke with a jesting leer.

Bess gave him a look he’d never seen before and kissed him fiercely, her hands finding their way beneath his coat, feeling the softness of his shirt and wanting only to feel his warm skin again hers. They pulled apart and by unspoken word undressed hastily with him spreading his cloak upon the hard stone floor. He pulled his Bess down to him and just held her close in wonder, grateful that they’d been able to get away, grateful that she was his. Then he kissed her and unbound her hair so it fell about them like a dark cloud over the purple moor. And he loved her gently there, in the cold of a winter’s night; on a stone floor an in ancient cave they came together as one.

Two days later, at a small country church, they were married. He became an honest man, who had made an honest woman of the lovely Bess and they settled into a routine on the small farm his gold had bought. Gone was the velvet coat and the thigh high boots, gone were the jeweled weapons, but there was his lovely Bess and that was enough for him.

Seasons passed and children came and he told them all the story of how he’d been a highwayman once before he settled down and became a farmer. Not one of the children ever believed a word he said and Bess merely laughed when he recounted the old tale for them. They lived and laughed and loved. And still of a winter’s night they curl up in their warm bed and he reminds her again that she is his greatest and only prize.*

*A happier ending to one of my favorite pieces of poetry that reminds of the winter time every time I read it.

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Wicked Wednesday 288 – Whispers

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The glide of fingers on skin
Silence.
The sharp tug on hair
Quiet commands, sweet nothings
in her ear
The muted echoes
of their lovemaking
surrounds them
in a cocoon of self
Awareness.
Bodies slick with wanting
with need for one another
A climax
like none before
and softly
“I love you.”

Wicked Wednesday 232 – Romance

Romance is something I’ve lacked in my life before. I didn’t know what it was really or how it worked. I just knew I wanted it. Certainly there have been grand gestures made that tried to be romance but they were just hollow things.

Now I’ve learned what romance is, slowly, surely, I’ve been taught. And it isn’t always something grand or overwhelming. It can be, and for me often is, about the little things. I’ve come to cherish it.Below is an untitled poem I wrote when my current relationship had just begun that to me embodies the idea of the romance and longing of missing your love.

 

In the quiet pre-dawn hours
she sighs
And wonders when he will come home to her
again

Life moves too slow
without him

and too fast
with him

wickedwednesday

And in case you missed it last week’s Wicked Wednesday can be found here.

Wicked Wednesday 224: Puzzle Pieces (Untitled)

 

Pieces of me
Gone,
And gladly,
But lonely in a way.
I never missed
the abuse,
But the companionship.
Afraid to be alone
Afraid to look for more

Unexpected,
Unwavering
There you were.
There we were.
A careful dance,
Between two hearts.
The perfect piece of me
Found the perfect peace
of You.

 

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And just in case you missed it, you can find last week’s Wicked Wednesday post HERE Happy reading!!

Wicked Wednesday – 9/30/2015

Wicked Wednesday 9/30/2015 –  Take any post on your blog and revisit it. Write another post on the same subject. Maybe it’s a personal post of a while back and you had some insights about the same topic you have blogged about, or maybe it’s a story that just calls for a next part. Tell us which post you’ve revisited and share your new post!

I’m going to be revisiting a piece of poetry that I wrote some time ago and recently decided to share on my blog. I’ve linked it here for the curious.

When I wrote this I was in a deeply abusive relationship that in no way even masqueraded as D/s. I was isolated, controlled, and felt very empty inside. I felt as though I was receiving none of the things that I wanted or needed to be a whole person. Being able to submit was one of the things that I very much wanted in my life. Once I thought I needed it, but I’ve grown up since then and I no longer feel that to be the case. It is, however, still something that I want in my life at least on some level. Full-time 24/7 TPE might not be the right fit for me, but in many ways neither is not having any sort of submission to give in to.

In my current relationship submission is a game that I play with my partner, but sometimes I worry that it is too much for them (and we’ve discussed that I feel this way a little) and I am very afraid that one of these days I am just going to become too needy to be what they want in a partner. Despite my failings when it comes to clear communication with my partner I do try and I am sometimes better at it than at other times. I know recently we had some discussion about it that left me utterly terrified that I had just ruined our relationship. I was reassured that I hadn’t done or said anything wrong, but I’m still having some difficulty not feeling like I’ve screwed up some how (I’m revisiting this before I post it and I’m feeling less and less like I did something wrong). It seems to be a tricky line for me to walk because I want to submit still, but my wants and needs aren’t the only ones to consider or be met.

So here I am, still wanting to give that submission, but in a relationship that I am happy and safe and loved in and those things matter more to me in so many ways than simply being able to submit. I have faith that my partner and I will keep talking and keep figuring out what works and what doesn’t work. and since I don’t want to be a completely owned slave, but maybe I do just want to be Sir’s pet sometimes we can find a balance. I hope we we can.

In many ways, I feel like “Given to Want” can apply to two very different times in my life in two very different ways. I’m not sure what the final result will be or how I could counter balance it with another piece of poetry, but perhaps one day inspiration will strike. Until then, I know that I will keep striving to be a good partner, no matter how things play out with my submission or lack thereof.

wickedwednesday

Given to Want

 

You go to sleep, wanting
You wake up, wanting
But you do not ask
for how can you ask
when you are given so much?
What can you give in return?
Heart beats with life’s pulse
you could give your life.
Knees ache to kneel
you could give your submission.
Would that be accepted?
Or even wanted?
Do you even know how to ask?
i didn’t think so…