Review: Satisfyer Whale

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Whale? Really? I was pretty underwhelmed at the Satisfyer Whale the instant I saw it in person, but the name is what really got to me. From an aesthetic standpoint I get the name, but from a marketing angle it makes zero sense to me. I definitely wish this toy had a better name. That said, it is cute and does kind of remind me of a humpback whale so maybe the name did its job. But I still don’t see how it relates to a sex toy. Just my thoughts.

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Moving on, the Whale is designed to be a waterproof, wearable vibrator that can be used during penetrative sex. Made from ABS and a nice smooth silicone it is both body safe and easy to clean. The Whale takes roughly two hours to get to a full charge, though the manual says the first charge could take up to eight hours, and it has a magnetic charger that is simple to use and not at all fussy just like the rest of the Satisfyer line-up. It has ten vibration speeds and patterns, comes in at three inches on the top arm and 2 and a half inches on the bottom. There are motors in each arm to provide direct clitoral and vaginal (G-spot) stimulation. To me the motors provided a vibration that was somewhere between buzzy at the low end to a bit rumbly on some of the settings, but nothing close to the rumbliness that I typically prefer. Overall though the vibrations weren’t terrible and I can see using this toy as a teaser while watching or reading some porn.

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Upon trying it out, my partner declared it to be painful and uncomfortable and without it being held in place it would slide right out anytime they moved. Not exactly the things one is looking for in a wearable vibrator. It was also difficult trying to get the outer arm situated so that it provided direct stimulation to my clit, but I think this is very anatomy dependent and might work better for someone with smaller labia. I decided to try this toy out with a dildo (the Tantus Echo Handle for the curious) to see how it would work when it wasn’t causing someone else physical pain. Turns out, that unless I held the Whale in place it slipped right out again which didn’t really surprise me, although I did have a surprisingly pleasant orgasm using the Whale with a dildo. So if you don’t mind holding it in place it can be a stellar toy. I’m wondering if perhaps, as a plus size woman, this toy simply isn’t the right shape for my anatomy overall and perhaps that contributed to my having to hold it in place.

My final impressions were far better than my first as I expected little to nothing from this toy in the game of orgasms, but I was quite surprised, even if my use case wasn’t exactly as advertised. It reached the goal of it giving me an orgasm, it functions as designed, and is a well made toy overall. If you’re interested in picking one of these up, Peepshow Toys carries them for $49.95 or you can shop your favorite body safe sex toy retailer.

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The Satisfyer Whale was provided to me by Peepshow Toys in exchange for a fair, honest, and unbiased review. There are affiliate links used in this post.

P.S. You can now save 10% storewide with coupon code “LIVVY” Go check it out!

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Review: Aneros Evi

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The Aneros Evi came shipped to me from IGNITE Pleasure Products via USPS Priority Mail with a packing slip that gave no indication of the contents (good for me since I have nosy neighbors) and arrived in a timely fashion taking only a few days to arrive. When I opened the package and pulled out the red and white box that the Evi comes in I was utterly delighted. This is a toy I’ve been wanting for a long time now and here it is. Opening the outer box led me to a plain white box that flipped open to reveal the Evi nestled into a white plastic casing. It did not come with a storage bag.

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Once I got past the packaging, the first thing I noticed when I picked up the Evi is just how smooth it is. They toy appears to have a seam running all the way around it, but it is so smooth as to be unnoticeable unless you are looking for it. This is a big plus to me as uneven or raised seams can be really uncomfortable once inserted into the vagina. I expected this would be nice and velvety soft with a bit of water based lubricant. I found out shortly thereafter that I was correct.

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When I first inserted the Evi it felt very comfortable and didn’t pinch or pull at all. My next discovery is that it does make an excellent kegel exerciser and I had fun just spending some time laying and sitting in different positions to see how it felt. Sitting on my bed wasn’t the most comfortable. After a while I decided that lying on my belly was the feeling and squeezing and wiggling my hips felt the best. That wiggly motion along with the squeeze from my muscles and feeling the Evi bounce against my g-spot, eventually drove me to a small but satisfying orgasm and left me wanting to experiment more with the Evi.

Further experimentation told me that walking around with it in and feeling it shift is incredibly cool feeling and even if it didn’t lead to an orgasm (I actually didn’t walk quite that far) it would certain be a good way to get me hot and bothered enough for more. Actually just having it inside me and feeling that pressure is enough to make me want more. I think I’ll enjoy wearing it out and about. I also tried it sitting down at my desk, which was much more comfortable than sitting on the bed and the feeling of fullness was fantastic. I’d clench my muscles and it would shift, or I’d adjust in the chair it would shift. Rocking back and forth in the chair was also quite fun. It is excellent for just hanging out with it inside you, as long as you’re careful to use enough (water-based only) lubricant to avoid getting uncomfortable. I’ve found that a thicker lubricant works better for this. But if you really want the exercise benefits you have to remember to squeeze those PC muscles.

So I did decide to wear the Evi out and about for a couple of hours and it initially didn’t seem to do a whole lot for me. There were times I barely even noticed it. However, once we got home and my partner surprised me in bed I found out just what a difference it made. All that walking around had made me very, very sensitive and I have to say the orgasms were fantastic.

The arm that is supposed to hit the clitoris doesn’t really do much for me. I can feel it there, and it seems to help hold the toy in place but it just doesn’t bump against me very well. Maybe because my kegels aren’t strong enough and I need to keep working on it, or my labia get in the way, or it just isn’t quite right for my anatomy. Either way it goes, this isn’t some sort of crazy deal breaker for me, although I do wish I could feel more sensation from it.

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Overall, I’ve really enjoyed using the Evi both as an exerciser and as a toy/teaser and I think if you’re looking to improve your sex life with stronger PC muscles this would be an excellent choice. With a little (OK, probably a lot) more work I may be able to have consistent orgasms with the Evi by itself which should be very nice. If you’re interested in purchasing an Aneros Evi you can do so at IGNITE Pleasure Products for $54.95 or from your favorite body safe sex toy retailer.

The Aneros Evi was provided to me free of charge by IGNITE Sex Toys in exchange for a fair, honest, and unbiased review. There are affiliate links used in this post.

Review: MysteryVibe Crescendo

When I got past the shipping packaging (which was quite discreet and delivered quickly via USPS) and pulled a sleek black box out I was very intrigued. The way this toy is packaged feels very posh with a slip cover over the box itself that is labeled MysteryVibe. I removed that to find a simple black box with gold lettering on the front and opened it up; and there it was nestled among a snug fitting enclosure, the MysteryVibe Crescendo. Beneath the Crescendo is a nice little storage pouch that also holds the charger, but that box is so nice I may just store the toy in there when it isn’t in use.

My first thought about the Crescendo when I heard about it was curiosity. It had to be some kind of gimmick I decided, but that didn’t stop the sex geek in me from wanting to try it. So when Luvoqa offered me the chance to review it I eagerly agreed. The first thing I did with it, once it was out of the box was to see how many different shapes I could bend it into. The answer: quite a few. So then I started planning which ones might work best for my anatomy. A “C” shape that was intended to hit both my clitoris and my g-spot was a good idea, but getting the Crescendo to actually hit both spots with enough pressure proved challenging.

I tried playing with the Crescendo without the app to control it, but the buttons were awkwardly placed and not easy to reach or press because of their small size. Neither were the buttons very intuitive to use and I felt like I was just mashing at them helplessly, trying to find a pattern that would give me an orgasm. Once I downloaded the app it made the toy much easier to play with, but I felt that the vibration patterns were lacking as well as the vibrations too were weak to do anything more than tease me. I think with six different motors both the vibration patterns and the intensity of them could have been much stronger. The feeling was just enough to make me want more but not for me to have an orgasm.

At one point I accidentally locked the toy and struggled to get it to turn back on for me so that was a bit of a pain as well. Another complaint that I have regarding the Crescendo is that it is one of those silicone toys that just seems like it wants to “eat” all the lube and I kept having to stop and reapply it, which is something that I hate to do as it tends to kill the mood for me. And don’t even get me started on charging the Crescendo. The Qi wireless charging system itself isn’t a bad idea, but the way to get the Crescendo to charge involves lining up buttons just so and is very finicky. I was so unimpressed by that the toy almost didn’t get a second charge. It takes roughly an hour to charge the Crescendo for up to an hour of play.

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By and large, I wasn’t impressed with the MysteryVibe Crescendo and it didn’t work for me at all. If you’re really into the idea of multiple motors, an app to use the toy, and being able to bend it to suit your needs, you might really love this toy, provided you don’t like super rumbly vibrations and don’t mind the idea of possibly getting lube on your phone while you use the app (or water since the toy itself is waterproof; I can’t say the same for my phone so I didn’t try this one out.) And if you’re still curious and want to try the MysteryVibe Crescendo out for yourself you can purchase it at Luvoqa for $179.00 or check you favorite body safe sex toy retailer.

The MysteryVibe Crescendo was provided to me by Luvoqa in exchange for a fair, unbiased, and honest review. There are affiliate links used in this post.

Review: Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation

This toy arrived incredibly quickly, especially given that it was shipped directly to me from the Satisfyer headquarters in Germany. The packing was a plain white box with a bill of lading that gave no information as to the contents or where the package was coming from in regards to the company itself. When I opened the box, the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation was well packed and secure within the box.

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Upon removal the packing looks identical to the regular Satisfyer Pro 2 box with the exception of being labeled “Next Generation.” I would’ve liked to have seen something a little different just for the sake of variety and ease of telling the products apart at a glance. I broke the Hygienic Seal on the box and opened to reveal a toy that looks identical to the Satisfyer Pro 2. We’ll see if the claims that it is quieter, has better power, and if its differently designed head make a difference in my pleasure.

My first impression of the toy, when turning it on, is that it is definitely much quieter than the original Satisfyer Pro 2. This will be a good thing for anyone who wants some privacy or has shared housing. Put it under a blanket and close the door and it would be unnoticeable. When I got to playing around with it, I noted that it the light was much less bright than its predecessor and that the buttons to change the settings are slightly larger and easier to hit. The body of Pro 2 and the Pro 2 Next Generation are still identical in shape and size (I was hoping for a slightly longer handle), but the head on the Next Generation is significantly wider and overall larger than the one on the Pro 2. According to Satisfyer, out of a focus group of 250 women, 98.7% of them preferred the new larger head. According to my clit I have a hard time telling the difference. Another claim is that the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Gen has better power than the regular Pro 2. This claim is one that I can agree with and I was able to orgasm with the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation as easily or more so than I was with the original Satisfyer Pro 2 And, as with the original Pro 2 this toy is also stated to be waterproof.

Left: Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation                               Right: Satisfyer Pro 2

Going back to the buttons on the two different models, the original Pro 2 didn’t let you adjust power levels up and down (it only went all the way up before going back down) whereas the Pro 2 Next Gen allows for going back and forth along the range of pulses. I know this is a fix that many people are likely to appreciate. I certainly did! My only initial complaint about the buttons was that they felt stiff and hard to push. Then I realized I was pushing too far from the center of the buttons and everything was fine again. I felt a little silly even.

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If I had to choose between the two toys, I would pick the Pro 2 Next Generation, if for no other reason than that it is quieter and more powerful that the original Satisfyer Pro 2. Those two things alone sold me on the newer version of the toy right away. The less bright light and the size of the head are both incidental things, that to me, are useful and good, but not earth shattering whereas the better powered Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation has a lot going for it! It is available from Peepshow Toys for $69.00 or you can shop at your favorite body safe sex toy retailer.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation was provided to me for free from the Satisfyer brand in exchange for a fair, unbiased, and honest review. There are affiliate links used in this post.

Review: The Screaming O Charged Positive

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I read a review of the Charged Positive comparing it to the We-Vibe Tango (which I haven’t tried, but would love to compare) and knew then that I had to test it out. Luckily, I acquired a Charged Positive shortly thereafter in a contest and have been loving it ever since.

The Charged Positive is a small bullet vibrator with twenty different patterns and sensations.

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The ScreamingO website indicates that it has a unique low-pitched motor; I feel that the motor is certainly of a lower frequency than that of any other vibrator I have tried to date and I absolutely love the feelings it causes. I’ve never encountered a vibe that could get me off without some other kind of stimulation to go with it, but this one certainly can! Most of the pulsating and patterns don’t do much for me, other than tease, but the first two steady settings are just wow. If you like rumbly vibes and don’t want to shell out for a Tango, this might be a good bet for you.

Aesthetically, I found it quite pleasing especially because I had the option to get it in a nice soft grey.

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I thought that was the coolest since most companies seem to offer toys in the same boring pinks, purples, and blues. It is also a very smooth to the touch toy as it is made of ABS plastic which is covered in a polyurethane coating; it is also latex and phthalate free. The slightly angled tip gives it a nice tapered look, but still provides for excellent clitoral stimulation in a pinpoint way.

The Charged Positive has some special features that are worth mentioning as well. It does come with a USB charging cable, although it is a propriety cable and not a standard USB. That’s not really a big deal unless you’re like me and sometimes misplace cords or forget what toy they go with. The toy itself is also marketed as being 100% waterproof so it should be good for some bath time fun and a breeze to clean as well. It also comes with a handy holder that helps protect the vibrator while charging and the packaging says you can also use the charging stand as a way to hold onto the vibe while it is in use. I tried that and it felt really awkward and uncomfortable to use that way. I just hold it in my hand.

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Speaking of hands, this isn’t a vibrator that leaves my hands numb or tingly after use, although it can leave them somewhat warm as the toy can heat up surprisingly quickly, This may be a downside or it might not bother you depending on how long you are using the Charged Positive. It has up to a sixty minute battery life on one charge and does charge fairly quickly so if you’re looking to use it later in the day, you can plug it in that morning and it will be all ready to go by the time you’re all ready to go. One thing about the Charged Positive that is frustrating to me is the way you cycle through the patterns. It only has one button and you have to cycle through all twenty patterns to find the one you want and if you should bump that button (which is a bit stiff) you’ll need to rotate through every pattern again.

The Screaming O Charged Positive has its ups and downs, but overall it is a great little vibrator and one that has already seen plenty of use in my bedroom. I expect it will continue to do so. If you’re looking for something small and rumbly this is definitely a good choice for that. You can find the Charged Positive at Screaming O’s website for $59.95 or you can check your favorite body safe sex toy retailer if you’re too impatient to wait for shipping.

Review: Satisfyer 2

The Satisfyer 2 is one of the original models in the Satisfyer line. Unlike the Pro Penguin and the Pro 2, it is battery powered (it takes two triple AA batteries) and the use of the batteries as opposed to the magnetic charging seems to make the device a tiny bit more powerful than the other models. It is no more than a very slight difference however so if you prefer the charging models to spending money on batteries, well I don’t blame you.

I didn’t find it quite as aesthetically pleasing as the Pro 2 model but the Satisfyer 2 is white with rose gold trim and buttons and is a functional if not terribly ergonomic seeming toy. Rather than the curved handles on both the Pro 2 and the Pro Penguin, the handle is straight and rather long. I found the long handle to be rather useful so I could angle it to hold the toy steady with plenty of reach to do so. The power and control buttons are on the back and I think that of the three toys I’ve reviewed they have the best placement and are easy to reach with your thumb or the fingers of your other hand. The buttons also let you cycle up and down through the 11 pulsation modes without having to go all the way down and then back up as with newer models.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Satisfyer line I will point out that this toy isn’t a vibrator, but an air pulsating toy that for some can be really intense and for others can be quite stimulating. Playing with the different settings is always fun to find out which ones are not quite enough, which is just right and what is too much to handle. I had a decent experience with the Satisfyer 2, but by far my favorite model is still the Satisfyer Pro 2, which I have already reviewed.

Like with other Satisfyer models this one is also supposed to be waterproof, but based on my previous reviews (here and here) I suggest caution when using them in water as some people have had problems with the toys breaking and dying completely after being used in water. I was lucky when I tried the Pro 2 in the bath that nothing happened, but due to my concerns about the water being a hazard I can’t tell you how my Satisfyer 2 acted in the water. I will say it’s great out of the water and that works for me!

It is hard for me to say that I was super impressed by the Satisfyer 2 because the Satisfyer Pro 2 immediately spoiled me to mind blowingly relaxed orgasms that were absolutely zero effort. However, with that in mind, the Satisfyer 2 did get me off and I wasn’t disappointed in the toy. I definitely feel like it has some better functionality than the Pro 2 and the Pro Penguin, the most noticeable being the button placement, especially as compared to the buttons of the Pro Penguin, which I found to be pretty awkward to use. The silicone nozzle on the Satisfyer 2 is slightly differently shaped than on either of the other two models, both of which have distinctly different shapes as well. It is nearly completely round and I did have some difficulty getting it situated on my clit, but I think that had more to do with the way my anatomy is shaped rather than a defect in the toy.

Overall, I enjoyed playing with the Satisfyer 2 for my review and it was, as most reviews are, a, shall I say, pleasant experience. Because of the longer handle on this toy, it may be more suitable for plus sized people as well as those with mobility issues in their hands, arms, or wrists. You can find the Satisfyer 2 at Peepshow Toys for $35.00 or from your favorite body safe sex toy retailer.

No affiliate links have been used in this post. This toy was provided to me by the Satisfyer company for a fair, honest, and unbiased review of their product. All opinions are my own.

Review: Satisfyer Pro Penguin

When I received the Satisfyer Pro 2 that I reviewed earlier this month I was also sent the Satisfyer Pro Penguin and the Satisfyer 2. I hadn’t really looked into the Pro Penguin much because I was more interested in the Pro 2 and I’m glad that I didn’t bite the bullet and purchase a Penguin.

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It’s a cute little pink (oh the horror) silicone coated toy with what seems to be a really nice design to it. The buttons on this toy are located on the front side of the toy so you have to make sure you have enough room to reach between you body and the toy to get at the buttons, which I found to be somewhat non-intuitive. The buttons themselves also can be tricky because they are basically a button within a button and the larger button turns the Penguin on and off and the smaller button which is harder to see because it nests right beneath the larger button with only a small seam to define the two buttons(they are on the white part).

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The handle is not quite as long as the one on the Pro 2 which meant that I had some difficulty reaching my clit and getting the toy to seal. I also don’t feel that the silicone head was meant for my body type or the rather, the shape and size of my clit. Instead of being somewhat oval like the Pro 2, the Penguin has an opening that is larger and more rounded. It simply refused to give me a good seal even with some lube.

Much like the Satisfyer Pro 2, the Penguin works with the same pressure waves and steady pulses and is also trying to mimic the feeling of sucking your clit. Because I was unable to get a good seal with the silicone nozzle it just kind of felt kind of boring. In order to get any stimulation from this toy I had to literally hold the nozzle in place directly and even then it certainly wasn’t giving me a suitable orgasm from the feeling it only sort of created.

In many other aspects it is nearly identical to the Satisfyer Pro 2 including having 11 settings and having to cycle through them from 1-11 and then from 11-1 to reach your setting of choice. I found it to be slightly buzzier at the high end of the settings than I like ( again much like with the Pro 2), but again since I can’t get a good seal it didn’t much matter in this case. It also charges magnetically just like the Satisfyer Pro 2 does, which means having a proprietary cable.

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This is another toy in the Satisfyer line that is supposed to be waterproof, however, after reading this post written by SexBloggess, I was hesitant to risk putting the Penguin in water as it might not be quite as waterproof as the name could imply. Hopefully others have had better luck with the Satisfyer line, but I would advise caution if you want to use this toy in the bath or shower.

Overall, the Satisfyer Pro Penguin didn’t impress me at all and it isn’t a toy I wouldn’t suggest it for anyone who is plus size, has wrist/hand/arm mobility issues, or who is worried about the lack of waterproofing. Anyone else, if you’re game enough to give it a try you can find it at SheVibe.com for $55.99 or at your favorite body safe sex retailer.

No affiliate links have been used in this post. This toy was provided to me by the Satisfyer company for a fair, honest, and unbiased review of their product. All opinions are my own.