Happy Birthday

He gave me a predatory smile as I was getting dressed to go out for my birthday and then fairly purred, “You know, I don’t think you’ve ever received birthday spankings.” “Spankings? For my birthday? What are you talking about?” I was preoccupied with my hair, getting it just so and wasn’t quite ready for it when he grabbed my hips to pull me backwards against him. “Birthday. Spankings. You get one for each year and then one to grow on. But I seem to recall you never having heard of the tradition until it came up in conversation a few weeks ago. So, should I give you a spanking for your birthday?”

I blushed cherry red and giggled. “I don’t know. I mean, what if I hate spankings after all?” “Then we don’t do it again. But I think that twenty five plus one to grow on should give you an idea about whether or not you like it..” He slid his hand under my skirt and cupped my mound, squeezing gently, before slipping a finger beneath the elastic to stroke the smoothness of my already moistening cunt. “Hmm, I think you want a spanking. I can feel you getting wet already for me.” And he pulled me across the room, bending me over the bed. I turned to look at him and he gave me a smile. “Nothing too hard, just a little sting. Are you ready?”

Taking a deep breath, I nodded, wondering what had gotten into me and then my skirt was flipped up and my panties slowly pulled down to reveal what I thought was a nice ass. He confirmed it for me with a quick grab at both cheeks before I watched him pull his hand back for the first strike. But I didn’t want to watch him hit me. I turned away and arched my back, pushing my ass towards him and I heard the smile in his voice, “Good girl.”

Suddenly his hand came down across both cheeks and he was right it was just a little sting. That was one. Two and three followed with the same measured precision and my body began to relax into it. Maybe my brain didn’t know what it wanted, but the rest of me seemed to. I silently counted the stinging swats in my head and I noticed as he paused at fifteen to check on me. All I could do was nod that I was OK and felt his fingers probe at my cunt that was, by now, dripping wet with desire. “Lovely,” he whispered and the spanking resumed.

My last eleven hits were not as a measured as the first half of my spanking, but came down hard and fast and I could hear his breathing change as he spanked me. I knew he had to be rock hard and I knew I wanted him to fuck me with a freshly spanked ass. Instead as he wrapped up my spanking he leaned down to brush soft kisses along my stinging cheeks, before suddenly running his tongue along my slit gathering my wetness and savoring the taste of it.

He knelt behind me and buried his face against me. I pushed back trying to give him easy access to my cunt, so he could taste it, so I could come on his face, so maybe he would fuck me next. I was grateful for the bed to lean against as my legs began to shake and muscles began to spasm. I cried out, trembling as my orgasm gushed all over his face. Then I heard a belt being undone and his cock was buried inside me. I moaned with delight and squirmed against him, feeling every inch. His strong hands kneaded at my ass and the sting intensified a little when he did. The feeling made me moan again and he leaned forward. “You liked that didn’t you? Having your ass spanked and now your juicy cunt getting fucked. Tell me!”

His words made me shudder and I nodded in agreement with him. A sharp smack came down across my ass. “Use your words.” “Yes, I like it when you spanked my ass. Please fuck me! Please!” I knew I sounded desperate, but I didn’t care. I wanted him and I wanted to orgasm with him inside of me. “I should keep spanking your ass while I fuck you. Would you like that?” “Yes. Yes I would.”

And he found a rhythm that lined up a hard spank, harder than before at least, with every thrust. My face was buried in the bed as I moaned loudly and thrust myself back against him. As his movements became gradually more erratic so did the spanking and I never knew when he’d hit me again. I felt him steady himself with one hand tight on my hip and the other still swatting my ass while he slammed his cock in and out of me. Out of nowhere came a particularly hard hit and I nearly screamed as the orgasm that hit me, lifted me onto my toes and left me breathless. He hit me again just as hard repeatedly and it felt like I wasn’t ever going to stop coming. My muscles twitched and sucked at his cock and I heard him grunt, then felt both hands at my hips as he pounded into me, looking for the release he needed. “That’s it. Let me fuck you. Let me fill you with my come.”

His words made me twitch and he groaned. “Do it again. Come while I fuck you. Let me feel your tight little cunt wrapped around my cock.” I swore and began to move again, his words reigniting the fire that he’d only just put out. I fucked him back clenching and squeezing at him and felt another orgasm growing. I growled, “Harder.” And he responded by tightening his grip to the point where I’d feel it the next day and fucked me as hard as he could. I fairly howled with pleasure as I orgasmed for him again, as I felt his come fill me up, hearing him groan in release.

My hair forgotten I collapsed fully against the bed as he leaned forward to kiss my back. I lifted my head, turning to give him a naughty smile and as he pulled away he slapped my ass one last time. “I think you like getting spanked. And I know I like spanking you. You should see how red your sexy ass is. I’m going to start turning it that color often. Any complaints?” I just shook my head and smiled.

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Ramblings on Boot Blacking

So I don’t know much about it, but I want to learn more about boot blacking. I only have my pair of Docs to care for and they are in dire need of a good polish. I taught myself a bit about it and have been polishing various pairs of boots I’ve owned for a long time, but after more research have realized just how much I don’t know (which is a lot!) I can’t wait to have more things to care for, like a quality leather flogger or paddle although I expect caring for them will be somewhat different than polishing my boots will be. Unfortunately, my partner isn’t into the shiny boots or shoes look so I can’t really do it as an act of service for them. But I can do it as an act of self care for myself and get lost in the feel and smell of leather, both of which I find to be incredibly erotic (so much so that I wrote a story about boot blacking from a submissive’s point of view.)

As I am reading and learning many things I’m finding that the very idea of polishing boots other than my own or my partner’s very intriguing, but I think it would also be very nerve wracking as I would be terrified of messing up. As someone with a very submissive mindset I think it would bother me greatly to make a mistake. Which means that even if I had the chance or skill level I doubt I would ever boot black at a leather or kink related event. I might, however, be willing to sit and have my boots polished. I think there would be something potentially charged in that exchange that I would enjoy. And by watching the process I might learn a thing or two about taking better care of my own leather goods.

I read a blog post ( https://leatherati.com/leatherati-bootblack-week-the-spirituality-of-bootblacking-36ed855a434b) that really spoke to me about how leather care can be a spiritual sort of experience and in some ways I think that it is something that I could use in my life to help me deal with some of my own personal demons. I want to see if it will help me manage some symptoms of bipolar or anxiety, although I worry that trying to do that could lead to my becoming slightly obsessive over keeping my boots clean and polished, which would be a difficult task given the winter weather where I live. But doing all the reading I’ve done and glancing over at my boots from time to time has left me almost aching to get down to business, but I don’t have polish or other supplies at hand just now so I’ll have to content myself with soaking up as much knowledge as I can find while I imagine the smell and feel of leather surrounding me. I’m genuinely looking forward to getting the supplies and applying myself at a task that I imagine many people would find to be arduous and time consuming.

Anyone reading this may wonder just how it relates to the more sexual topics that I typically write about, but I feel like learning to clean and polish my boots with care and skill is something that will let me improve my submission overall because I can give in to the feelings that I have and just surrender myself to them. This is something that I fight with as I’m (still) not always comfortable letting myself be vulnerable when I submit to Sir especially if I want to ask for something or share something and I want to be the best version of myself than I can be, not only for them, but for myself. I want to learn and grow and be more than I am. So for me, even if I’m not caring for anyone’s leather but my own, I want to be the best I can be at it, to let it teach me lessons that I might not have known I needed to learn, and to be able to have pride in a job well done just like I would from any other act of service, even if, in this case, the service is for myself. I’m also curious to see if I can reach a sort of head space or subspace in the repetitive nature of the task, the smell of leather and polish, and the general flow of the act itself and see how that affects me as well.

For anyone out there who has more experience with boot blacking than I do, I’m certainly open to comments or suggestions about how to learn more and become good at a skill that I know so little about. I know that reading can only get me so far and much of it I will have to learn by doing my own thing and figuring out what works for me. As I become better versed in the skill perhaps, sometime in the future, I will write a basic boot blacking 101 type post where I share what I’ve learned to help other people looking to learn, but for now I’m just going to polish my boots and let the journey lead me where it will.

Wicked Wednesday 317 – All’s Fair in Love…

 

After Jim’s punishing evening, he was eventually allowed back into Karen’s good graces (as well as Gary and Linda’s) and the foursome began to spend much more time together, most often in bed after a night of board games or dinner or whatever it was that meant they could spend time together. Living in a small town, they tried not to arouse suspicion as to the real fun they were having. But Karen, who was notoriously chatty, accidentally said the wrong thing to the wrong person and word began to get around. It was suddenly the hot topic and the four of them couldn’t go anywhere, alone or together, without snickers, stares, or comments being made.

Things did eventually die down again as some new piece of gossip worked its was into the town, but the other three weren’t exactly happy with Karen. And Jim’s ego still smarted a bit from that punishing evening a while back. Working together with Gary and Linda, he hatched a plan that just might teach mouthy Karen a lesson. It was a simple plan really and one that Jim knew they could pull off with very little work ( and a lot of fun) on their end of the deal.

The night came and everything was ready to go. As the couples stripped down sharing kisses and touches all the while, Jim made a seemingly innocent suggestion. “You know, Karen, I think after I have been tied down before it should be your turn. Not to watch of course, just be our plaything for the evening.” “Hmm, maybe. What do you two think?” Gary and Linda both smiled at her and simply led her to the bed where the ropes were already tucked out of sight waiting and each one began with a wrist. “Hey! What’s this now?” And Karen laughed as she was secured to the bed, thinking everything was all going to be all in good fun.

Linda kissed her friend and then moved to stand at the foot of the bed admiring not only her and Gary’s handiwork, but the lovely view as well. Karen’s tits and pussy were both on magnificent display and Linda could just barely see her clit beginning to peek out from its hood. She wondered if Karen like the ropes and decided that she must as the other woman squirmed against them for a moment before settling into the comfortable position she could. Karen was naked, open, and vulnerable to anything the three of them wanted.

Jim smiled as well and kissed his wife, almost roughly; he liked seeing her helpless like this and it turned him on like nothing else. He wondered how Karen would like it once they were done with her. He ran his fingers though her hair and she leaned into the touch turning her head towards him and spotting his hard cock, leaking pre-come. “Mmm, is that for me?” “Do you want it?” Jim laughed and leaned forward, letting himself just touch her lips, smearing the stickiness across them. Karen licked her lips and tried very hard to take at least the tip of his cock in her mouth. “I don’t think so. Be a good girl and ask.” Karen pouted. She wasn’t used to asking for much of anything as she was quite spoiled by the other three and glanced around the room as the predicament she was in suddenly hit her. Gary and Linda simply stood watching the exchange and then when Karen didn’t ask Jim walked over to Linda who promptly kissed first Gary and then Jim before speaking, “Jim, may I please suck your dick?” Her voice was breathy, but clearly loud enough for Karen to hear and Jim smiled at her and nodded. “Good girl Linda. And good girls get rewarded.” He pushed her gently to her knees and watched Karen’s face as Linda sucked him off. Her reaction was a mixture of desire and disappointment and a touch of anger as well. Good, thought Gary who was also watching. Karen needed to learn to watch her mouth and perhaps this would be just the way to do it.

The three of them eventually climbed onto the bed and worked their way around Karen who was incredibly aroused, but none of them would touch her unless she asked for it. And the longer she held her silence, the worse things got for her as she wriggled and squirmed and fought to close her legs at one point. God she wanted them to touch her. Finally she couldn’t bear to simply watch and spoke in a small voice. “Please, please touch me? Let me feel you.” She addressed them all as a group and suddenly Gary, Jim, and Linda descended on Karen’s body with hands and mouths and a cock in her pussy and she cried out in delight, although that cry was cut short as another cock found her mouth and began to fuck her face.

She was the center of attention again ans she was loving every single moment of it. But in a few moments, she wasn’t quite so sure how much she was enjoying herself as she began to struggle just a little for air with Gary’s cock almost choking her. And Jim merely making the slightest of movements inside her, and Linda pinching her nipples much harder than normal. She began to lift her hips and tried to pull her head back but she was well bound and not going anywhere unless one of them untied her. Gary gave her a wicked little smile, “Nothing to say Karen?” And she realized this was her own version of punishment.

Without any warning Gary groaned and came in her mouth, while Linda watched approvingly. “Better swallow it all Karen. We wouldn’t want any getting out.” And the other women gave a cruel pinch to her friend’s nipples, making her swallow hastily. Karen whimpered as she still wanted to orgasm even after the rougher than usual treatment, but Jim wasn’t speeding up any and after a few more moments, he pulled out of her altogether, grabbed the large wand vibrator and with Gary and Linda’s help got it positioned just so and tied it down, holding it against her clit. The he turned it on low, just enough to drive Karen up the wall and the threesome left the room to get a drink.

Wicked Wednesday 315 -Trademarked by Sir

Sir and I had discussed this for weeks. It would be a very permanent decision and we wanted to make sure it was something we could both live with, especially if things happened to sour between us (not that either of us see that happening.) I’d read up on procedures and he had studied designs and placements and we shared our knowledge together over supper, laughing and joking about how things would go. I was his little pain slut so who knew how I’d handle that part. He assured me I’d be fine; I was convinced I’d embarrass myself.

Finally after all the talking and figuring out and deciding was done the appointment was booked. Now it was just a waiting game. And that was the worst part. Finally, the day of I made sure I was well hydrated and had eaten and all was in order. We drove to the shop together and in we went. The procedure started out just like any tattoo session did as the design was checked and copied. I was growing more and more nervous. It was a tiny piece though, shouldn’t take long.

The artist disappeared into the back to set up and when they were ready I headed back, bared my left hip, and the design was placed. Sir approved the location and asked the artist not to use any lidocaine. There was a look from the artist to me and I nodded in agreement. “I want to know what this feels like.”

I settled on my side and got as comfortable as I could waiting for things to begin. Sir chatted briefly with the artist and stood watching where he could see my face and watch my reactions. Finally, after what seemed like an interminable amount of time they were ready to begin and pulled on a pair of gloves, picked up their instrument and made the first cut. It took a moment before I registered any pain, the scalpel was so sharp and the cut so shallow. Soon I was lying there quietly just absorbing the pain into me, relaxing into it. Even the artist commented and I merely smiled. Sir laughed softly, “Ohhh, she’ll be fine, won’t you my little pain slut?” I blushed at this and nodded. “Yes Sir, I will be. I might enjoy it a bit too much so you’ll have to forgive me…,” I trailed off embarrassing myself. The artist smiled and nodded. “You’ll be fine. I’ve seen things before during other types of work.”

Slowly the outline of a beautiful lily was done and I could look down and see it. At some point my pussy had gone from a little damp to soaked and I was in desperate need of an orgasm. “Now for the fun part. I’ll be making tiny cuts and peeling away tiny amounts of skin to expose the layer beneath. It will hurt more that the outline did. Do you want me to numb it?” I looked to Sir for an answer but he just smiled at me. “Your choice, babygirl. Think you can take it?” “I’ll try.” I nodded my head and laid back. My artist grinned. “Tough cookie. I’ve seen men twice your size cry at tattoos and they couldn’t even handle the thought of this.”

Now the hard work began and the strangeness of my skin being literally peeled away from my body was at once a strange feeling, enough that it drove me wild. Soon I was panting softly and the artist glanced at me, nodded once and then looked at Sir, who was watching me closely. “Babygirl, let it out and then we can continue.” I took one long inhale and my entire body shuddered for a long moment. I never made a sound though and exhaled slowly my eyes closing blissfully. “Thank you Sir.” “Can you be good and still now?” “Yes Sir.” “Shall I numb it now? The process will go faster if I do.” He nodded to the artist, “I think so. Babygirl got what she came for.” And I blushed like there was no tomorrow. After my skin was numb to the sensation I was able to finally relax and I half dozed through the rest of the procedure while Sir simply watched as the artist was too focused on my skin to be terribly chatty.

Finally, when all was said and done I had a beautiful lily carved into my hip with strict instructions on how to care for it if I wanted the scars to keloid and stand out against my pale skin. I had officially, permanently, and irrevocably been marked as His. The collar I wore could be removed. This could not.

 

Wicked Wednesday 314 – Suede on Skin

 

Natalie lazed in bed, letting the bright sunlight stream through the room. She could hear Victor getting ready for work downstairs and knew that she should get up, but it was extra difficult this morning. She simply didn’t want to leave the warmth of her bed behind. Victor pounded up the stairs and met her relaxing in bed and smiled at her. “It’s a shame I have an early meeting. A kiss will have to do.” And he bent down to her as she lifted herself to meet him, sharing a rough kiss that left them both wanting more. But they hadn’t the time. “Tonight,” he breathed against her lips and in a moment he was back down the stairs and out the door.

With a sigh, the pretty blonde rolled out of bed, leaving the covers a scattered mess to be put back together later. Maybe. She padded into the bathroom and turned on the shower before taking a look at herself in the mirror. Not bad for middle age she thought to herself. She spun and when she did caught a glimpse of something dark on her rear end. She craned her neck around for a closer look and rubbed at her skin. Her fingertips came away black as well and she frowned slightly. Then she smiled when the memory hit her.

Nude and bent over the bed Victor had taken a soft flogger to her skin. His hits hadn’t left marks, except for the black dye apparently, and she tilted her head, thinking about the moment that the suede had first contacted with her skin. It had been like a tiny electric shock and it made her jump. They both laughed, but Victor had stroked the falls down her back ever so gently and spoke in a firm tone she’d never head from him before. “Be still.” Normally, Natalie wasn’t one for orders and tended to do as she pleased, but she’d promised to try this game and see how she liked it. So far it was interesting. A flurry of hits as quick as Victor could manage. The precise descent of each hit told her he had practiced learning to use it and the care he had taken to ensure he wouldn’t accidentally injure her made her smile.

She turned fully around and stared at the marks on her ass. It had been red last night she knew, but the dye had gone unnoticed and there wasn’t a bruise to be seen. Had it been fun though? Would she left him do it again, maybe harder next time? Natalie really didn’t know. She just hoped the dye hadn’t stained the sheets as she slept and made a mental note to check later. But first a shower. She stepping under the warm water and tipped her head back letting it slide across her skin, around her curves, into her hair, and sighed with pleasure. She recalled having made that same noise the night before. Was it while Victor was hitting her? She couldn’t fully remember all the details; it had been a lot to take in all at once. But she knew something had made her happy so she thought harder determined to flesh out the memory to its fullest. And she suddenly thought yes, it was when he hit her, right across the fullest part of her ass, the falls of the flogger connecting, then sliding away. She wanted to feel that sensation again.

As she showered she replayed the flogging from last night, over and over in her head. She even knew how many hits there had been. Thirty. Not too hard, not too soft, just thirty even hits, to let her test out the idea of being flogged. She closed her eyes remembering the fucking that had come after. Victor had been aggressive and tender at once and she loved it. Her will submitted to his. His cock had driven into her cunt filling it right up and she moaned softly to herself. Leaning against the shower wall, letting the water pound her skin she masturbated slowly, her fingers tracing her clit with one hand as the other played with her nipples. She kept picturing last night, the way he’d instructed her to bend over the bed and present herself to him. At first it had been somewhat embarrassing, being on display like that, even if Victor was the only one who could see her. Then he pressed her back further into the bed, causing her to arch and lift her ass higher. “Better,” he’d growled, and teased her ass with the tips of the flogger. How soft it had felt then. He warned her that he was going to hit her and the single stroke fell across her ass the flogger whistling through the air just before impact. Over and over he’d hit her, never once pausing, trusting that if it was too much for her she would end their game. He’d been proud of her when she didn’t.

By now, Natalie was fingering her wet cunt, wishing Victor was there to fuck her, to suck and bite at her nipples, to hit her again. She moaned, her noises drowned out by the water and grabbed the removable head from the wall. Angling it just so, she let the water pound against her clit, fucking herself with her fingers. With a strangled cry her orgasm took her body over and she shook, barely able to keep herself upright. She gave a satisfied sigh and licked her fingers clean before she went about the business of actually showering. She scrubbed at the black dye on her skin and got most of it off, but could see remnants of it in spots here and there. She laughed a soft laugh as the memory of that first hit crossed her mind again and Natalie decided that, yes, she wanted Victor to hit her again. Maybe even with something harder. Maybe even leave marks. And maybe she would even be OK with that firm tone of voice.

But she wanted to try it again, once or a dozen times more just to be sure she liked it. She thought Victor might be quite obliging on that point and she figured a sexy text message or two should get the point across. Natalie smiled again and went about her day, reminded every so often of the few faint dye marks left on her skin and couldn’t wait for Victor to get home.

Wicked Wednesday 312 – (Jacqui’s Lessons Continue)

After a short rest and more wine all around the men seemed ready to move forward with Jacqui. Her nervousness had mostly dissipated between the wine and the orgasm, but she was a little afraid that what was to come next would hurt and she voiced her concerns. The tall man gave a her kiss. “It will hurt a little, but I’ll be gentle, Doll. We don’t want to hurt you, just have some fun. You are having fun aren’t you?” Jacqui gave a shy smiled and nodded her head, “Oh yes. What you did earlier…with your mouth, that was lots of fun.” And she gave a tiny giggle.

All the men smiled at the sound and each gave her a kiss, all of them sensual and passionate, but the quiet one, his was the best. “Now then. A little vocabulary lesson, Doll. No doubt you’ve heard whispers of love making and other euphemisms for the sexual act, but tonight my dear, we are going to fuck you.” Jacqui’s cheeks flashed a bright scarlet and the men chuckled. “Come on Doll, it’s just a word, albeit one I doubt your family would approve of you knowing. Tell us what’s going to happen next.” “You’re going to…to, to fuck me.” She forced the word out, foreign as it was and then repeated herself more surely, more calmly. “Good. Now come here.”

Jacqui got up and sauntered over to the tall man, who was standing furthest from her and with a naughty grin only he could see, she added a little more sway to her step, offering a tantalizing view of her pert backside. When she got near to him he reached for her cupping her peach sized breasts in his hands and squeezing gently. He plucked at her nipples again and she felt that same electric jolt as before. “I like that,” she admitted to him, so he did it a second then a third time and watched her body shudder with pleasure. The other two men, both smiled at her response to being touch as well and smiled when their cohort led her to the couch where she’d been seated, bending her over the back of it. “Are you ready, Doll?” “Y-yes.” He nodded and she heard him undressing behind her. Her face became fearful once more and that’s when the other two men stepped forward, one to kiss her gently and the other to play with those lovely, sensitive nipples. Jacqui relaxed again and then felt fingers exploring her body. Just a single digit slipped inside, filling her and the feeling was so different from anything she’d ever felt before she didn’t know what to do. Her muscles clenched and flexed and the man crooned his approval. “Sure you’re ready?” Jacqui nodded, unable to speak and felt something brush against her there. Then a pushing sensation followed by a stretch that left her gasping for air. “Doll? You alright?” She nodded again her hands reaching into empty air, finding the hands of her other two lovers and gripping them tightly. “It’s so much…” “I know, but you can do it. You’re doing good.” And another deeper stretch and a sharp stab of pain that took her by surprise even though she’d known to expect it.

“There. The hard part is over. Now try to relax.” Jacqui took a deep breath and willed her body to relax as much as she could and felt a slow retreat from her body, before there was another push forward. She suddenly became almost giddy with excitement. She was being fucked. Gently, of course, but all the same it was happening. Instinctively she tilted her hips for a better angle and was rewarded by strong hands gripping her hips tightly as the man began to move, thrusting slowly in and out of her while she clung to the other two who by the time has begun playing with her breasts and nipples with their free hands. Jacqui moaned; everything felt so good. It got better when the man fucking her loosed one hand from her hip and reached around to find her nub and began to rub it in slow tantalizing circles. Her hips bucked and she began to thrust her body against his as the two men holding her hands smiled and nodded with appreciation. Flasher spoke while brushing a strand of hair from her face, “That’s it Doll. Do what feels good.”

What felt good right now was everything and Jacqui was quickly losing herself in the sensations she felt. Suddenly she froze mid-thrust and cried out as she had her second orgasm rolled through her body, causing her to tense and flex her muscles. He never stopped fucking her. “Do you want another cock Doll?” Jacqui’s eyes flew open and she watched Flasher step in front of her, offering himself to her. She stretched forward a little and took him in her mouth. The feeling of having two holes filled at once was enough to make her come again and she felt her own juices trickle down her leg. She knew she should feel guilty, shouldn’t be doing this, but oh how could something that felt so good be wrong?

The two men quickly found a rhythm, sharing her between them and Jacqui could do little more than moan and hang on for the ride. She was stretched and filled and treated exactly like what they had been calling her all evening, a doll. And she loved it. She wondered if she could have another orgasm and she focused on that pounding feeling in her body, the push and pull of the two men. The sudden thought that she might not ever have this again threw her for a moment, but then made her resolve to relish it all the more. And she sucked and licked and squirmed and was well and truly being dominated by the two men and loved it. That heady rush hit her again and she felt herself floating away on another orgasm, her third she thought and wondered why this was such a taboo topic and thing to do. As her cunt clenched around the man fucking her he gave a soft growl and thrust into her hard just before she felt a hot warmth drenching her insides. It made her twitch and then gasp as she realized what it was. She sucked harder at the cock in her mouth as the one in her cunt retreated; she wanted to taste it again. She wanted to feel it again too and was sincerely hoping that the quiet one would fuck her, but he seemed content to watch and stroke himself while the tall man poured himself a glass of wine. Jacqui sucked hard at the crown of Flasher’s cock and that was his undoing; he shoved himself deeper into her mouth, coming hard as he had before. She swallowed greedily and pouted a bit when he pulled away. On unsteady legs she made her way to the front of the couch and sat down, to take it all in. “More wine before we go, Doll?”

 

Wicked Wednesday 309 – Conviction – (I, Submissive)

 

We all have strong beliefs that shape us and make us into the person that we are. I strongly believe in being myself, whatever that means. In this particular instance though, I’m talking about sexual submission because that is a part of who I am. My submission is so much a part of me that I spent years feeling incomplete without it and struggling to understand why I felt like I needed it so much. I still struggle with they why of it sometimes.

But there’s something about service and submission that just does it for me. I crave that power exchange and while I have it in my life now, I am greedy and want even more of it. I don’t think I could do a Total Power Exchange 24/7 kind of D/s relationship. I do think I could use a bit more discipline and structure in my life and while I can be disciplined and make a schedule and whatnot on my own, that’s not the same as submitting to what someone else wants in regards to what I want or may not want. Like food. I have complicated issues with food. But if my partner and I are out and they order for me, even if they’ve consulted me about what I want, those issues vanish temporarily because it is OK for me to eat the food without feeling guilty because Sir says its OK.

There are so many things like that, that are part of my submission and I’m sure there are some that are as yet undiscovered. They’ll come in time as my submission improves and deepens and I become more in tune with what I want and need as a submissive. I’ve always felt that this was a lonely road to walk because I’ve never had people I could talk to about being submissive and what it means to them or to me. I could never open up to anyone about this side of my life because I simply didn’t know anyone who might even begin to understand. Now I’m learning that while the conversation would be nice, I don’t have to have it. I can explore my submission through writing or reflecting or even talking to my Sir. I’d still love to hear and learn from other submissives experiences because I think growth and change are an important part of leading one’s life, no matter how you choose to live it.

I think that my next goal in improving myself to be a better submissive will be to continue to work on learning to love my body just the way it is instead of the way I wish it was. Then when I am tied in ropes or left otherwise exposed I can focus on the event that is happening instead of wondering if the rope makes me look like a sausage about to burst from its casing or if my partner is repulsed by my rolls or my body as a whole. Logically, I know they aren’t. They show me every day that they think I’m beautiful just the way I am, but wrapping my mind around that one is hard. So here’s to pushing through that mental block, past those voices that whisper inside my head. Here’s to using these beliefs as a springboard to a better me.

Where will I go from here? Only time will tell, but I want to be a submissive that makes my Dominant proud. Proud to have me, proud to love me, proud that they have helped me become a better person through my submission. I, submissive, want to be good.