Review: MysteryVibe Crescendo

When I got past the shipping packaging (which was quite discreet and delivered quickly via USPS) and pulled a sleek black box out I was very intrigued. The way this toy is packaged feels very posh with a slip cover over the box itself that is labeled MysteryVibe. I removed that to find a simple black box with gold lettering on the front and opened it up; and there it was nestled among a snug fitting enclosure, the MysteryVibe Crescendo. Beneath the Crescendo is a nice little storage pouch that also holds the charger, but that box is so nice I may just store the toy in there when it isn’t in use.

My first thought about the Crescendo when I heard about it was curiosity. It had to be some kind of gimmick I decided, but that didn’t stop the sex geek in me from wanting to try it. So when Luvoqa offered me the chance to review it I eagerly agreed. The first thing I did with it, once it was out of the box was to see how many different shapes I could bend it into. The answer: quite a few. So then I started planning which ones might work best for my anatomy. A “C” shape that was intended to hit both my clitoris and my g-spot was a good idea, but getting the Crescendo to actually hit both spots with enough pressure proved challenging.

I tried playing with the Crescendo without the app to control it, but the buttons were awkwardly placed and not easy to reach or press because of their small size. Neither were the buttons very intuitive to use and I felt like I was just mashing at them helplessly, trying to find a pattern that would give me an orgasm. Once I downloaded the app it made the toy much easier to play with, but I felt that the vibration patterns were lacking as well as the vibrations too were weak to do anything more than tease me. I think with six different motors both the vibration patterns and the intensity of them could have been much stronger. The feeling was just enough to make me want more but not for me to have an orgasm.

At one point I accidentally locked the toy and struggled to get it to turn back on for me so that was a bit of a pain as well. Another complaint that I have regarding the Crescendo is that it is one of those silicone toys that just seems like it wants to “eat” all the lube and I kept having to stop and reapply it, which is something that I hate to do as it tends to kill the mood for me. And don’t even get me started on charging the Crescendo. The Qi wireless charging system itself isn’t a bad idea, but the way to get the Crescendo to charge involves lining up buttons just so and is very finicky. I was so unimpressed by that the toy almost didn’t get a second charge. It takes roughly an hour to charge the Crescendo for up to an hour of play.

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By and large, I wasn’t impressed with the MysteryVibe Crescendo and it didn’t work for me at all. If you’re really into the idea of multiple motors, an app to use the toy, and being able to bend it to suit your needs, you might really love this toy, provided you don’t like super rumbly vibrations and don’t mind the idea of possibly getting lube on your phone while you use the app (or water since the toy itself is waterproof; I can’t say the same for my phone so I didn’t try this one out.) And if you’re still curious and want to try the MysteryVibe Crescendo out for yourself you can purchase it at Luvoqa for $179.00 or check you favorite body safe sex toy retailer.

The MysteryVibe Crescendo was provided to me by Luvoqa in exchange for a fair, unbiased, and honest review. There are affiliate links used in this post.